Dear Ernest,

What will I get for Christmas?

Thanks,
Maria

I haven't a clue. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you.

It would be really easy to find out. All I have to do is to enter your name into my computer here and up would pop a screen with everything about you, Maria. Not only could I see what you're getting for Christmas but I can see what you are doing at home and how your school work is coming. I can even access a report from the Tooth Fairy with your dental history.

But there's no need for me to do that. As an elf, I am sworn to privacy. And that runs two ways. Just as I won't peek on you I also refuse to disclose Santa's knowledge or plan for you.

When I became an elf I signed the Elf Code of Ethics and I swore to a strict contract governing behavior. Inclusive in these obligations is not only secrecy of these things but, more importantly, respecting the sacred nature of giving. To tell you what Santa is getting you for Christmas would rob him of the pleasure he receives from giving. And I could never do such a thing to a giver such as Santa.

So, like the rest of us, you'll just have to wait.

Oh, by the way, nice job on that pilgrim report. Your folks must be proud.