Life is not great at the minute...

[JOHNOR]

hi guys,

sorry to put a downer on the forum but i am feeling a bit lost at the minute, was hoping i could vent a little and any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

financially things are not good, i'm 23 years old and i am a trained actress and i am having a terrible time finding any work, infact i have had none this year, i only started trying in january as that was when my studies were finally over and now it's creeping up to 7 months and i've had nothing. i am trying desperatley to get an agent but i've had no luck so far. i have had to get some temping work to help tide me over but i only get that occassionally, my car insurance is due in a couple of months and i really can't see how i am going to be able to afford it, plus not to mention christmas is coming up and i'd like to be able to put some money aside for that. my OH is a great help, he does his best for me, he pays all the bills and buys all the food and i am very greatful. i just feel like such a failure, i know money is not the be all and end all but it's so stressful when you aren't earning none. i know i am so blessed in other ways and i don't want to sound like a cry baby (although lately i'm crying far too much for my liking) but i can't go on like this.

i have a couple of friends who are also trained actors/actresses. they are doing quite well, they are getting work and gaining so much from the experiences. i am so pleased for them but just wish that something would happen for me too. i'm a talented girl and i have alot of drive and passion but slowly every day i'm feeling more and more deflated. i can't bear the thought of life staying the way it is. it just seems that at the minute that i'm in a black hole and can't really see a way out. a few auditions have come up in london but in order to get to them i would have to spend £60 on train fare each time and i can't afford it at the minute, i could ask for help off family but i'm too proud, i don't want to inconvenience anyone, i should be able to pay for myself to go to auditions.

i am sorry to go on, i just needed to get it off my chest. hopefyully things will get better soon.

[kerst]

Times are had for lots of people right now. You are only 23 and have a whole life ahead of you. Maybe you should look in a different direction for a while. You are an actress after all. You must be able to fit into all kinds of positions. Even doing a various job will help you gain experience if only in life. Get a job to make enough money to at least get you to the auditions. And then some day you will get lucky and strike that dream job !! Good luck !!

[JOHNOR]

thanks for the reply. i am quite shocked at myself, i wouldn't normally post things like this, i like to keep my problems to myself, it's very rare i mention them to friends and family. it's just like i have this black cloud hanging over me at the minute, i've got a few personal family problems at the minute aswell and it's breaking my heart, things don't seem to get better with that situation. i just hope things get better soon, i want to start getting excited for christmas!

[Holiday]

Awe JOHNOR...I don't really have any advice for you...just a shoulder! I hope things look up for you...I am confident they will. Like kerst said, times are tough for many & I agree that maybe you should take any (well, not ANY...lol) job for right now, enough to get you by. You could apply at Walmart, a grocery store, or any store, a restaurant...working in the public is definately an experience! :lol: Good luck to you!! I hope you get your break really soon!

[SparkleNana]

I think it is good that you posted about your situation! Hopefully lots of ideas and support will come flying in and give you lots of good things to think about! Here is one idea -- could you get a job in London? Yes - it might take hours to commute on the train - but people become very good at sleeping on the train! And then you would be right there to go to plays and auditions and hanmg out with theatre people (using the money from your job!)

Or - could you volunteer as an usher or props person or something/anything at a theatre group near you? (Meanwhile, getting any sort of job to earn cash. Everyone expects theatre people to work at other jobs to earn money!)

Good luck - and hopefully things will be busy and acting-filled by Christmas!

[sugarplum fairy]

I don't really have any advice about a job for you, but I wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you. It is a good thing that you were able to come here and talk about it. It is not good to keep things all bottled up...believe me I know. You are not alone. A lot of us can relate to your problem, so we understand how you are feeling. Feel free to come and vent here any time you need to. It took me 2 years to finally get a job that I was trained for. Don't give up, try to stay positive, and let your feelings out when you can. I am sending all my positive thoughts and prayers your way. Keep in touch!

[JOHNOR]

thanks so much for the support. it's just that everything seems to have come at once. i have trained for so long to be the best actress i can possibly be and i don't have a back up plan! so when i don't get work for 7 months i start thinking "oops!" also the family stuff (my dad) has got me so stressed out, it realy should be him worrying about me rather than the other way around...

but you know what? things could be so much worse, i have my health and luckily my family have theirs. that is the most important thing in the world, i just needed to write it all down and get it off my chest. thanks for the support, you've been a big help.

onwards and upwards, i'll get there...

[clarebear]

I hope things start to get better for you soon :)

[irishsnow]

Its better to get things of your chest rather than bottle them inside you.

Keep your chin up and something will turn up for you.

Take another job for the time being and get yourself sorted but dont give up on your dreams. You will get your lucky break

[Storeytime]

JOHNOR,
I can't give much advice on the job part, but maybe I can help encourage you. I have 4 children. 3 of them want to be in the acting/film business. They hear one thing from me and it's this. Don't ever give up on your dream and don't let anyone steal it from you. Life, problems, even well-wishing friends and family will try to steal your dream. Remember what your fellow countryman, Winston Churchill once said; "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever quit!"
So, I say this: do whatever it takes to keep the dream alive. Be creative for the time being. Think outside the box. Money can be made without having to go get a job. Maybe you can think of some kind of business that you can do on the side while you pursue your dream.
One last story. There was an Englishman who wanted to swim the English Channel. He started his swim on a night that turned very foggy. He swam and swam until he thought he couldn't make it so he turned around and headed back to his native shore. What he didn't realize, because of the thick fog, is that he was only a few hundred yards from the French coast when he turned around and headed back to England. His mind convinced him he couldn't go the distance, yet he swam much further to get back to England than he would have swam to finish the race. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, quit.
I will pray that God give you the strength to endure during this trial and to provide for you along the way.
Tim
:snowball:

[starflake]

Another thought to add to the choir: while you may be the one needing the financial support now, you could one day return the favor. Maybe your OH will (heaven forfend) lose his job or want to take a vacation some day.

Above all, you're not alone, so don't bottle yourself up. You'll make it through and be stronger having had this experience. In the meantime, you could use your time to your advantage -- hobbies, a part-time job, organizing your home/life, reading, meditation, etc. By that I mean things that go towards your dreams, expand you as a being, and improve your mental, physical, and emotional health. Whatever fits your unique path best. Good luck as you seek your next job.

[JOHNOR]

storeytime - thank you from the bottom of my heart, that was just what i needed to hear. hell will freeze over before i even think about giving up.

starflake - thank you kindly for your advice (which i will be taking), you make alot of sense.

everyone that has posted has been such a big help. it's quite a risk i'm taking, my eggs are all in one basket so to speak but i know i'll get there.

things are looking better, i have been doing some promotional work as a side line, money isn't too bad and i am meeting alot of resting actors and actresses who are in the same boat as me. things aren't amazing, but they are slowly getting better and i am beginning to look forward to christmas. x

[sugarplum fairy]

I am so glad things are starting to look up. Remember there is no such thing as a small, unimportant job. If it was unimportant, there wouldn't be a need for it. That reminds me of a famous quote...There's no such thing as a small role, just small actors. I don't know if I quoted that exactly correct but you get the point. I hope you feel better. Keep in touch!

[Storeytime]

JOHNOR,
What are you doing today to pursue your dream? Ask yourself that everyday.
Glad to see things are going a little bit better for you. Hang in there. You'll be flying soon enough.:notice:

[Annette1990]

I am also glad to hear that things are looking up. I agree with the other members as well. Never give up your dream. But in the meantime look into some other lines of work to keep you "afloat" with bills and everyday living expenses. Most "stars" here in the US were "struggling actors/actresses" in the beginning...even they too in the mean time had to hold down various jobs from waitressing, working fast food etc. I wish you well..and hope all your dreams come true!!