Grandma's Last Christmas.

[ReineV]

My very active, very awesome grandmother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Because of the fact that she is 91, she has chosen not to seek treatment for the tumor and has decided to "let it run its course" since the location of the cancer is so precarious and doctors believe it's pretty advanced.

She just doesn't want to be sick and bed ridden for her last few months of her life.

So, now that she knows she's dying, she's just spending her time shopping and gambling, lol. She's spending a lot more time heading to the "joint" (that's what she calls the casino). She lives in Buffalo, New York, so she goes up to the casinos in Niagara Falls. She takes the bus by herself and everything, so she's a very active, very lucid 91 year old. That's what she wanted to do with the last of her time and money, so I say go ahead!

This is, unfortunately, my fourth loved one who I will lose to cancer (the second from lung cancer). My other grandma passed away from cervical cancer.

My mom is making plans for all of us to spend Christmas up there. I am scared that she won't make it until then because my aunt (who lives with her) has said she's started coughing up blood here and there. She hasn't met my son yet and I would hate to know she passed away without getting the chance to meet him.

I know she is blessed to have lived for so long and I try to remember that, but I just can't help but feel like she was cheated out of a more peaceful death, ya know? It sounds odd, but I always felt like a woman who's lived through two World Wars, a Great Depression, watched a man walk on the moon and witnessed the emergence of every major technology since the radio deserves to at least painlessly die in her sleep. This trouble breathing and coughing up blood just isn't fair. She's been through enough in her life.

Sorry for the vent people. Right now, I just pray that she can make it to Christmas and we can get up there to make it the best time ever for her. Please pray for our family and for her pain to be minimal.

Here's a pic of my grandma and mom at my wedding in 2008.
http://i937.photobucket.com/albums/ad218/reine_solomon/n33000261_35893329_6454.jpg

[Christmas-A-Holic]

Your grandma and your family will be in my prayers. I am glad she wants to be active as long as possible and I hope she can stay out of pain.

[caninemom3]

Awwwww.. I am so very sorry you and your family are having to go through this and your grandmother too. I know how you feel and emphatize with you about how unfair this all is. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it was not a rant at all. As the song goes, "that's what friends are for." I am new on the boards since last Christmas but I just wanted you to know I as well as everyone are here for you. Please keep us posted on what is happening and please know you are and your grandma are in all prayers.

[ChristmasHeart]

Bless her heart! And bless your's. I'm so sorry to hear this news. Prayers for your grandmother, you and your family!!!

[trackrebel]

ReineV....Your grandmother and Your entire family are in my prayers. I understand how You feel about her living through so much, witnessing so much and then having to die from cancer....my great-grandmother died of breast-cancer in 1989....she was 93 at that time....I always felt sorry she didn´t have a more peacefull death...but there are good meds that can ease the pain.

I am praying for Your family and that You will have one beautiful christmas this year

[Maureen]

I'm sorry to hear this, Reine - it's never easy, no matter how advanced their years are.

This might seem like a stupid question but why do you all have to wait until Christmas?? Can you all organise to spend a weekend with her before then and have a mini Christmas?? That way, she can meet your son and will still be well enough and relatively pain free to enjoy everyone's company.

If, fingers crossed, she is still here at Christmas then you can think about what you want to do then but I'd think seriously about having a get together sooner rather than later - say maybe for..........Canadian Thanksgiving in October - she's close enough to the border to pull it off!!!!!!!!

:tree:

[MsChristmas]

God Bless you and your family! I hope that she gets to meet your Son and that you guys get to spend Christmas together! Please keep us updated. Take care!

[TamaraQT]

Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. (((HUGS))).

I have to say I COMPLETELY agree with Maureen. I think that is a wonderful idea for the family to get together now BEFORE things begin to change for your grandmom. In 2005, I lost my aunt to lung cancer. She was my mothers last surviving sibling and I was blessed to have her live with me during her last 2 years of life. The Lord knows how thankful and grateful I am for that blessing. So having walked the path that you and your family are walking now, I feel the need to open my heart to you. I want you to know that I am all too familiar with the anguish you feel. I have prayed and asked God to bless you and your family. Show you mercy and let you feel his pressence and love as you and your family walk thru this transition. Keep us posted as you can. And you are not ranting. You are just talking to people who care about you and what you are going thru. We are here for you.

One more thing.....since I spoke of my aunt, I would like to share one of her favorite sayings with you. Whenever my aunt spoke of her situation, or anything going on in her life....she would always stop and say "Lord knows, I am NOT complaining, I am JUST explaining." And I feel that may be a useful to you. For you are not ranting or complaining. You are just opening up and explaining what you are going thru. And there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that. So continue to come here and talk when you need to.

[JanaBanana]

So very sorry to here this. :( She sounds like an amazing woman! Sounds like she is enjoying life to its fullest right now. I hope she is able to meet your son soon.

[ReineV]

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I talked to my mom about maybe a trip up there in October/November and she said we can try, but she really sounds hopeful/optimistic that we'll be able to wait until December. I just don't want to risk it. Maybe that's just my paranoia. My mom seems to be a bit more at peace about the situation. I hope she's not hiding her feelings.

[MerryNoel]

you are all in my prayers .. sending HUGE HUGS!

[made582]

I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[Smiley21]

I know how you feel, my grandfather was recently diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and he's 82. Thankfully he opted for treatment so we've been doing a lot of traveling getting him to his destinations & appointments. I know the heartbreak you're feeling when you hear about the pain or discomfort your grandmother is in. I haven't talked to my grandfather in over a month because his voice & body is so weak I just can't take it.

Its a hard thing to go through but God is certainly able to do it! No one has put a time stamp on your grandmother! I pray the blessings of the Lord on her & your family!!! I hope you make it to Buffalo & make this a PLEASANT trip there, do not think on the sorrowful things, but remember who she is to you & your life.

[caninemom3]

I know how you feel, my grandfather was recently diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and he's 82. Thankfully he opted for treatment so we've been doing a lot of traveling getting him to his destinations & appointments. I know the heartbreak you're feeling when you hear about the pain or discomfort your grandmother is in. I haven't talked to my grandfather in over a month because his voice & body is so weak I just can't take it.

Its a hard thing to go through but God is certainly able to do it! No one has put a time stamp on your grandmother! I pray the blessings of the Lord on her & your family!!! I hope you make it to Buffalo & make this a PLEASANT trip there, do not think on the sorrowful things, but remember who she is to you & your life.

Smiley, this was a beautiful post. I certainly will keep you in my prayers also. xo

[Smiley21]

Thanks caninemom

[ClaireLovesChristmas]

So sorry to hear this, hope she gets to meet your son soon and you all have a wonderful christmas together xxx

[TwinkleLights25]

*HUG* & sympathy go out to you, Reine. I'm sorry. Make the most of the time you have!

[lizziexo]

your mum and Grandma are gorgeous. And you're completely right,m people like her who live for so long and experience so much should have the right to die peacefully. I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandma x

[Bradmac]

ReineV,

I'm sorry about your grandmother's illness. Bless her!

My grandmother lived in Buffalo, too, and she spent all her free time in Niagra at the casino! I bet they hung out together and didn't even know it!

[ChristmasFanatic56]

Bless ya, You're family is in our thoughts and prayers!

[Kimothy]

Sorry that I'm so late to this thread but I'm also sending up prayers and positive vibes to you and your family--especially that grandma of yours! I hope that you'll be able to have a lovely Christmas reunion and that she'll get to meet her great-grandson! (((HUGS)))

P.S. Fab photo of your mom and grandma!

[ReineV]

Hello everyone. It's looking like it's going to be soon.

Last night, the hospice nurse had to put my grandma on morphine because she was in so much pain. My mother (who is fresh off the plane from visiting my oldest sister in New Zealand), had to hop on a last minute flight because the relatives who are already up there with her think it won't be much longer before she passes.

Thank you so much for all the prayers and kind words of comfort. I'll keep you guys updated.

[caninemom3]

Hello everyone. It's looking like it's going to be soon.

Last night, the hospice nurse had to put my grandma on morphine because she was in so much pain. My mother (who is fresh off the plane from visiting my oldest sister in New Zealand), had to hop on a last minute flight because the relatives who are already up there with her think it won't be much longer before she passes.

Thank you so much for all the prayers and kind words of comfort. I'll keep you guys updated.

Reine, just a quick note to say my heart is with you and your family. I know how hard this is. I will keep all of you in my prayers all night. I am so sorry things have turned out like this.

Try to take care and know that at least in spirit your MMC Family are with you.

[JOHNOR]

i'm so sorry reine, my dear grandmother is also 91 and not in the best of health.

i'll be thinking of you and yours and hoping that you get to spend a fantastic christmas all together. xxx

[ReineV]

My grandma passed away early this morning, surrounded by all seven of her children. We're currently attempting to make plans to get up there for her memorial service this Saturday. Please keep the family in your prayers.

Thank you everyone.

[Mumof2]

ReineV,I'am so very sorry to hear of your Nana's passing.You all have my prayers.ox

[Maureen]

I'm so sorry, Reine xx

[Bradmac]

I'm so sorry, Reine. :(

[Minta]

So sorry about your loss.

[jolly elf]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[lilnoelelf]

ReineV, I'm so sorry to hear!!! Hun,please Know your in our thoughts and Prayers and you are loved by all your friends here at MMC. If you need to vent or talk or anything feel free to PM me. May God Bless you and your family

[Rob]

My heart and prayers go out to you.