Santa's Next Visit -- 7/12

[Jeff Westover]

Hi all,

Just got an email from Elf Ernest who said Santa is vacationing this week in Branson, Mo (imagine that). He said he has Internet access and can work us in then. So please post any questions you have for the big guy on this thread.

Jeff

[Mr. Christmas]

Great to see he's hard at work in this hot weather. Anyway, a question for the Big Guy: I always have wondered, do you get any wish lists for Christmas in July?

[Jeff Westover]

I can kind of answer that myself. Now, remember, My Merry Christmas is just one small part of the Santa empire but I can tell you that we have processed nearly 600 wishlists for Santa through MMC this month so far.

For perspective, in December of last year we processed more than 350,000!!!

Santa's big in more ways than one.

Jeff

[sheepsnot]

Santa, have you seen any evidence of global warming up home? Is it because of industry and automobiles or is it the Heat Miser's fault?

[Jeff Westover]

So, what happened to Santa? Is he coming or what? :-o

[Santa]

Santa, have you seen any evidence of global warming up home? Is it because of industry and automobiles or is it the Heat Miser's fault?

Hello Sheepsnot,

Global warming is a myth. The polar ice caps may be melting from the seas but they are actually GROWING on the land masses. I track this quite closely because I follow reindeer migration...it is kind of a hobby.

Anyway, that should not keep us from talking about the problems with industry and automobiles. The problem with these things is not global warming or pollution. The real problem is that they are just ugly.

I think everyone should get a sleigh.

And everyone should have elves too. Work gets done faster and better with elves. And they sing a lot too, which is better than machines humming.

As for the Heat Miser, well, I understand he is tending to his knitting all over the American Southwest this week. We should really talk to him about pollution, eh.

Say, sheep...aren't these really rather heavy conversations we're having here? What do you want for Christmas, Big Guy?

love,
Santa

[Santa]

So, what happened to Santa? Is he coming or what? :-o

Hey, I'm on vacation. Chill. It's been so long since I've been here I forgot my login.

I don't get this. Everywhere I go in the world doors are opened to me and people wave to me and welcome me without hassle. But here I have to have a password.

Mrs. Claus says hello and how's your mother, by the way.

love,
Santa

[Santa]

Anyway, a question for the Big Guy: I always have wondered, do you get any wish lists for Christmas in July?

Hi Mr. Christmas,

By the way, I thought I saw you on TV the other day. I was watching some Nascar while Mrs. Claus was waxing her holly leaves and I could have sworn that was you. You're the little guy with the sleeveless shirt, the "old fart" hat and that big Ford, right?

Anyway, to answer your question, yes -- I do get plenty of wishlists in July. Especially from folks wanting air conditioning, fresh watermelon, and something called wifi. This is also a big time for politicians, who generally ask for copies of my lists for fundraising purposes.

Fortunately, most lists at this time of year do not require my attention. Christmas is still a half a year away in the minds of most folks and they tend to change their minds by the time Christmas comes around and they send in another list.

The only list I really worry about right now is the one Mrs. Claus makes. You wouldn't believe the honey-do's Santa has.

cheers,
Santa

[Santa]

(From Gabriela, via email) -- Why is Santa a 2nd class elf on the Merry Forums?

Oooh, that's a good question, Gabby. Who is running this place?

Santa

[Santa]

Hey, look at that! I went from 2nd class to 1st class elf in one post! That's magic that even I cannot explain.

Santa

[Santa]

(From Turner, via email)Santa, what do you do during the summer?

Hi Turner,

Nice to see you online. Your spelling has really improved. Have you done anything about your room yet? (Your Mother wanted me to ask).

Anyway, I do many things during the summer. I swim. I eat ribs. I camp. I fish. I race homemade popsicle rafts down rain-filled gutters. And on slow days I like to suck the white stuff out of Twinkies with a straw.

I'm busy as all get out.

What are you up to?

Santa

[Santa]

(From Bradley S, via email)Who are you philosphical influences?

Hi Brad,

Didn't school end like a month ago? You really need to get out and get some sun, you know?

Hmmm...good question.

To me, nothing is more profound in thought that Calvin and Hobbes.

Santa

[Jeff Westover]

Oh, hi Santa! Glad to see you could make it. I think this is your first summertime appearance here. Sorry to be so snappy with you. When Elf Ernest says you're going to be here he is usually right on the nose about the time. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Jeff <-- hoping this doesn't affect my stocking this year...

[sheepsnot]

Santa,
Since you asked, I'd like to wake up as Beaver Cleaver's brother, Sheepsnot Cleaver. Home cooked meals every night, no worry about color coordinated clothing cause everything is in black and white, Johnson hasn't been elected yet so...well, let's not go there. It seemed like a simpler time, basically. 8)

[sheepsnot]

This joint advertises a Santa visit "once a week or so." What is the North Polic definition of "or so?" I've had more Elvis sightings than I have Santa sightings, and that just ain't right! My question for Santa, should he re-appear before I receive a pine-box parole, is this: What do you think of the many suggestions made at the Santa convention in Denmark this summer?

P.S. I'm not really this grumpy; it's just an imitation of Elf Ed.

[Elf Ed Zachary]

And a poor one at that. Sheesh.

I'll let the Big Guy know you're itching for answers, Sheepsnot.

Maybe he'll bring you a new name for Christmas.

[sheepsnot]

I've toyed with the idea. What about Muskrat Mucous? :lol:

[Elf Ed Zachary]

Eeewww.

[sheepsnot]

When is the Man making his next visit? I have to check my status on the Naughty or Nice List.

[dvdelf]

since I've been here, leaning more towards naughty

[sheepsnot]

Invading your territory? 8)

[dvdelf]

no I think I'm the catalyst for naughty :)