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A Journey Of Spirit

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Posted 12-12-2012 at 01:28 AM by caninemom3
Updated 12-12-2012 at 01:30 AM by caninemom3

There was a Christmas special which premiered many years ago called Mr. Krueger's Christmas. I think it was largely overlooked and for me it is one of the most moving, Christmassy specials there ever has been. In it, Jimmy Stewart plays a man who is very much alone and very much in need of love and friendship. He is a widowed janitor of an apartment building and daydreams most of the time to escape loneliness. One of his daydreams is about the first Christmas. He daydreams that he is right there when it happened !

This is particularly meaningful for me as I have done the same thing many times. I think of it as a journey of my spirit.

As I daydream, I start to become drowsy and fall asleep and as I do so I can see in my mind the hilly country around me. There are lots of sheep and shepherds in the hills. It is a chilly night though not as chilly as some of our Christmas carols make it. Everything is peaceful as I walk along. Nobody can see me since this journey is in my mind. I realize where I am somehow and how very important this night will be. I look at the sky and there is in the East the most wondrous, blazing ball of absolutely dazzling light. It is so bright it illuminates everything around it almost like a nighttime sun.

I begin to be afraid because I know that I do not belong here. As I look at the ball of light in the sky, there are figures, shapes, who look different than any I have ever seen in my entire being. There is a great majesty about them and a commanding presence but their voices are peaceful, reassuring. The very sound of them speaking gives me peace and hope. There is a baby, they tell everyone, who was born. A child who Himself brings a great light for all mankind. Humans are to be peaceful with one another and with the earth these beings say and all are told to go and worship Him because he is the son of the great I AM.

Though I have daydreamed about this many times, it is at this point I really start to be afraid. Then one of the figures in the sky speaks to my heart and tells me to be at peace and go on with my journey. They know I am there and they want me, ME of all people, to go and see the baby. A tear runs down my cheek as I continue on.

I am walking with the shepherds and their sheep toward what looks like a sort of cave, a place where cattle are kept. Though it is cold outside, there seems to be warmth coming from within the small cave. I fall back and make sure I am the last one in line to see the baby. As I approach the cave entrance I see a girl who could not be more than 16. She has dark wavy hair that is in a long braid down her back. On her head she wears a mantle with a stripe that designates her tribe. She is kneeling beside a tiny baby and I can see the affection and emotion in her eyes as she looks at her newborn son. Next to her there is a young man, though older than her, making sure she is feeling well and checking on the precious baby who was laid in a stall that animals drink from. He is on a bed of straw and He is the most remarkable baby I have ever seen. There are cows and horses and all sorts of animals inside and I notice particularly that there are a few dogs and cats too. There is one big dog who is so enamored of the child that he will not leave the baby's side. In fact, at one point he gives the baby a gentle kiss on the cheek. The animals all adore this baby and He seems to adore them right back.

His face is that of a newborn yet, it is not. A warmth emanates from him as though all the moonbeams and stars are within Him. There is something about this baby. Though all babies are beautiful, this baby has a beauty which transcends physical appearance. As I approach and get closer the young girl motions me to come forward and visit her precious son. It seems the only ones who cannot see me are the shepherds themselves. I don't know what to do, my legs feel like jello. But I go forward very gently. I look in her face and I can't help but start to cry. She gently hugs me and I hug her back, my heart bursting with emotion. She gently picks up her baby and puts Him in my arms.

I look at His face again. Then I begin to talk to him. Somehow I know that he understands me. The tears are heavy now, there is so much I want to say to Him. I thank him for all that I have been given in my life and for being with me the day I found my first husband lifeless in our home. I thank Him for His presence the day my brother drowned and I tell Him I could not have made it if He had not been with me. But he knows all of this already. He knows everything about me even though I do not. Though He is just a newborn, He seems to tell me He thinks the world of me and that He is glad I am there.

I tell Him that he and his teachings and what He did for us means more to me than anything though I do not translate that to my fellow humans well at all. I thank Him for never giving up on me through the numerous times I have given up on myself. I want to stay here and never leave. I kiss the baby very gently on the forehead and place Him back in his bed of straw. I turn to His mother and give her another hug and also her husband, who seems a most gentle and kind man. I realize I am starting to leave this place and I desparately tell the young mother and father I do not want to go but they assure me I will see them again. The mother tells me not to be sad and not to worry so much and to just remember my blessings and the great gift that was given to mankind in this Child. I promise her to try and do my best to be a representative for her Son in my own small way and she smiles. As she smiles the scene fades and I am back in my own bed again waking up.

My first thoughts are of how wonderful it would be to REALLY be there in Bethlehem on that woundrous night instead of just going there in a dream, but then dreams do seem to have their own reality so perhaps in some sense I really was there......

Happy Birthday, Dear Jesus and thank you for everything.
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