Family disputes at Christmas
Im sure most of us have or will have experienced some sort of dispute with another family member thats carried into the festive season or with other family members who have fallen out with another family member and continues into the festive season.
Can be quite akward and upleasent especialy for those not directly involved. How do you try to 'put things aside' or resolve thing-even if only for christmas/
That's always a tough one. It depends on the people involved and how willing they are to set differences aside.
Stephen Covey wrote a book called "Seven Habits of Higly Effective Families" the following is an exerpt from this book:
1. Be Kind - using words or phrases like thank you, please, excuse me, you go first, may I help you? Performing unexpected acts of service - helping with the dishes, kids, etc. Finding little ways to express love - through notes, expressing appreciation, giving compliments.
2. Apologise - saying I am sorry. We must agree on the right to disagree - allow other people to see things differently.
3. Be Loyal to Those Not Present - Not criticising or gossipping behind the backs of family members. We must talk about others as if they were present. We should choose to focus on the positive rather than the negative. When we talk about weaknesses we do it in a responsible and constructive way.
4. Make and Keep Promises - Excitement and hope is created when a promise is made. Marriage vows and promises to take care of children should be kept.
5. Forgive - When we forgive we open the channels through which trust and unconditional love can flow.
You have time before Christmas to start mending fences, hopefpe fully this may help a bit.
I only experienced this type of holiday one time and that was at Thanksgiving.
The best advice I can give is that I did not let it affect my attitude and my joy. Because you see we can't get into the "what about me?" syndrome. When we do it makes us extremly selfish and depressed which affects every member in the family household.
Not fair to do that to others that you love.
Real love does not hold anyone's emotions hostage. Nor does love hold any person hostage.
Love is freedom; love is action; love is powerful. Love is more than just saying that you love a person. Love is an action word, love is "to do". Putting other's needs and desires before your own.
Sow love and you will reap love, real love.
It's hard to give advice on a subject as broad as this... every family dispute is unique to that family dynamic... however... some general advice...
Holler: C'MON! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!
Followed by a good, swift kick in the behind...
Lather, rinse, repeat..!
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