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-   -   Going to be a hard Christmas (http://mymerrychristmas.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43239)

sgrover 09-28-2012 01:57 PM

Going to be a hard Christmas
 
Hello all, I haven't been on here in over a month. I see the last time I was on was Friday, Aug 24th, the day before my 20 year old step son was in a car accident. He died of his injuries the 26th. The only silver lining to this tragedy was that we were able to donate several of his organs, he saved 4 lives. Four families will still be togther this Christmas, but there will be a big hole in ours. This has been so hard on all of us, my husband, me, my 23 year old son, my 22 year old step son, my 13 year old daughter, my parents, my in-laws, my husband's X wife's family, the list goes on. I'm usually getting really excited about Christmas now, listening to music, drafting this year's Christmas letter, shopping or at least getting my list of ideas ready. None of that seems important now. I know it will be hard, but I want to still try and celebrate a somewhat normal Christmas, especially for my daughter's sake. But it just won't be the same. Have any of you gone through this? Did you do anything special to remember your loved one? I know we plan to put a wreath at his grave, and already bought some candy cane solar lights to put up there too. Do I still hang up his wreath even though I won't put anything in it, or leave it out and make the absense obvious? Do I write my Christmas letter, even though it will be more depressing than uplifting? Or just send cards? We'll still go to church, still have our Christmas Eve buffet, but, yeah, won't be the same, don't think our hearts will really be in it. Any other suggestions on how to get through this first Christmas? Any ideas will be appreciated, and of course prayers for my family, we need all of those we can get. Thank you all for listening.

JanaBanana 09-28-2012 02:14 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray you all still have a joyful Christmas, as I am sure that is what your stepson would have wanted. It will take time....

shellie12 09-28-2012 02:44 PM

So so sorry to hear that
No words can express how your feeling
God love him i pray he is safe in gods arms
But what a good fella he was
In his death he helped save 4 others. there will always be a part of him alive
Regarding christmas its gonna be hard, bittersweet so am just gonna say to you that you and your family will get though it with some joy and some sadness. some happy and sad thoughts.
Think as a family you will think of something to do for this brave good man

GingerMel 09-28-2012 03:45 PM

I'm very sorry to hear this. I hope you find some peace this Christmas. I'm sure it will be difficult.

Billy Battles 09-28-2012 03:59 PM

I am so sorry hear about your loss. It will be tough. Maybe in his honor, this Christmas, you could make a donation to charity in his name.

caninemom3 09-28-2012 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgrover (Post 467236)
Hello all, I haven't been on here in over a month. I see the last time I was on was Friday, Aug 24th, the day before my 20 year old step son was in a car accident. He died of his injuries the 26th. The only silver lining to this tragedy was that we were able to donate several of his organs, he saved 4 lives. Four families will still be togther this Christmas, but there will be a big hole in ours. This has been so hard on all of us, my husband, me, my 23 year old son, my 22 year old step son, my 13 year old daughter, my parents, my in-laws, my husband's X wife's family, the list goes on. I'm usually getting really excited about Christmas now, listening to music, drafting this year's Christmas letter, shopping or at least getting my list of ideas ready. None of that seems important now. I know it will be hard, but I want to still try and celebrate a somewhat normal Christmas, especially for my daughter's sake. But it just won't be the same. Have any of you gone through this? Did you do anything special to remember your loved one? I know we plan to put a wreath at his grave, and already bought some candy cane solar lights to put up there too. Do I still hang up his wreath even though I won't put anything in it, or leave it out and make the absense obvious? Do I write my Christmas letter, even though it will be more depressing than uplifting? Or just send cards? We'll still go to church, still have our Christmas Eve buffet, but, yeah, won't be the same, don't think our hearts will really be in it. Any other suggestions on how to get through this first Christmas? Any ideas will be appreciated, and of course prayers for my family, we need all of those we can get. Thank you all for listening.


(((Sgrover))) Please let me say how very sorry I am about this devastatng loss. I cannot imagine the sorrow and pain.

I did go through not the same thing but still a loss in 1992. My husband of 20 years came home after learning he was losing his job and shot himself in the head and subsequently passed away as the result of his injuries and I unfortunately was the person who found him.

I was in the same mind set as you. I did not know what I should do. I wanted Christmas so bad but I just didn't know....... To make a long story short, I think first and foremost you need to do what you and your family feel COMFORTABLE doing. If you want a tree, have a tree. If not then don't. It was explained to me by a very patient counselor that there are no rules. You do WHATEVER you feel you want to do. The loss of a child is inherently more painful than my loss and again, I am so sorry. Talk to your family. Have long discussions about what everyone wants to do. Maybe a family tribute would be nice as you suggested. We are all here for you and should you need to talk more I am very glad to have you private message me. Please take care and be sure to take care of YOURSELF..((((HUGS))) xo

Meceka 09-29-2012 06:55 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.

trackrebel 09-29-2012 07:08 AM

sgrover...I am so sorry for Your loss....I dont really have words...other than that i will pray for You and Your family and all the people affected by this stragedy....I am sure that this christmas will be very hard.....not just Christmas....there will be a lot of firsts....firsts without Your beloved step-son....and each one will hurt....I have expierenced it this year since my grandpa has died.....but I am sure You will still manage it to become a nice Christmas....maybe not the best one...but a special one...I am sure

made582 09-29-2012 07:20 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, Sgrover. My prayers go out to your family.

Solice 09-29-2012 11:32 AM

Im so sorry for your loss! ♥


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