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MsChristmas 05-30-2013 08:04 PM

please give me your opinion
 
For those of you who do not know me well (plus I havent been on here much lately) Im 30 years old and soon to be a single mother of 2 little boys. A 6 and a 3 year old. Im going through a divorce & have a wondeful boyfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We have been dating for about 6 months and having children has come up (not necessarily talked about having kids together) but he asked if I would want another child and I asked him the same. He is my age, single, never been married, no children and is wonderful to my Boys! We both said yes to the question BUT I have an issue. I cannot carry a child. I have my ovaries to produce eggs so I can have a child but because of 2 surgeries last year (had pre cancer and had a very high chance of getting cancer) I am not physically able to carry a child. When is a time to tell him this? I dont feel like I have lied to him because I would love another child but I feel like Im withholding information because of my situation and its killing me. I dont want to scare him off but I dont want to wait and for him to not trust me if I wait too long :(. We havent talked about marriage yet, but he makes plans and references the future and being there for the Boys as they get older. Also if you found out your girlfriend couldnt carry a child would you leave her for that reason?

made582 05-30-2013 08:47 PM

I would say the sooner you tell him the better. It will be a blow to him and he will be disappointed, but if he truly loves you he won't leave you over that. There are lots of ladies out there that can't have kids for one reason or another.

He should be happy that they caught the problem before it got any worse and that you are okay.

snowflake22 05-30-2013 09:07 PM

I agree with made.
When you're committed to someone, you will support & love them no matter what. I think it'll be fine.

Wishing you good luck with the conversation, and much happiness in the future.




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DoubleA 05-31-2013 02:37 AM

I would say you should bring it up as soon as possible. The longer you wait the longer you are keeping something of importance from him and he would wonder why it wasnt brought up sooner. Im sure once he hears the reason why he will understand completely. Love brought you together, and he has kids he can call his own. Should be a minor bump in the road if even anything at all.

xmastidings 05-31-2013 06:19 AM

I whole heartedly agree with everyone above, the right thing to do is to be open with him now and tell him the truth, (including your desires as well). Look, lets not beat around the bush here... We all know, that if a person truely loves you (not just physically only...) but loves your heart, mind, soul and everything about you, then they will always be with you for everything that is with associated with you; for you!

As a SideBar here: As most of know that have been married for some time, one of the largest things about being in a long term relationship, is also learning to deal/ cope/ live with the other persons faults. If you cannot do that, then the relationship is, well, not going to be good in the long run.

"Just Bee yourself" (a little Aladdin quote there...) and be honest, if it is meant to be, then it will be.....:wink:

HomemakinGirl 05-31-2013 07:41 AM

I would tell him soon.
People fall in love for many different reasons, not just to have children together.
People fall in love and stay in love!
Good luck, sending hugs your way!

Ryan 05-31-2013 07:45 AM

I agree with what has already been posted...the sooner, the better! I am praying for you and hope everything works out for you and your boys.

George Broderick, Jr. 05-31-2013 08:31 AM

Tell him now! If he's any kind of real man, he'll support you in ANYTHING... if not, well, not to be harsh but, later for him!

sugar142286 05-31-2013 01:47 PM

I will agree with the above statements as well. I've been with my husband now 10 years, married for 5. We were high school sweethearts and always have found that honesty is the best policy. Going with my gut always got me to the right place, telling him things right away, and always trust each other. Don't ever keep things from each other - that's the best relationship two people can have.

As for if he will leave you once you tell him, he really loves you like he says he does, he will stay with you through thick and thin, no matter what. Keep your head up and stay positive.

jayden28 06-01-2013 10:02 AM

I would tell him as soon as you can,if i was your boyfriend i would want to know something like this,it is very important that he knows.


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