Sounds like you are working on some great ideas. My parents are divorced and my mom wants nothing to do with my dad and his wife. We host Christmas Eve, Christmas Breakfest and Christmas Dinner beacuse we refuse to take our kids away from their home at Christmas.
My mom is there for the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner while my dad and his wife come over for Christmas breakfest. I make breakfest casseroles ahead of time and just pop them into the oven Christmas Morning.
My mother in law lives out of state so we cant celebrate in person with her.
The day after Christmas we ceberate with Hubbys siblings and their families and with my father in law, his wife and her kids. We rotate houses each year.
You may not be able to please everyone but the only people who really count here is you, your hubby and daughter.