There's so much in life we can not control and every pet I've had was a family member whose loss was very sad. If your work/living situation allows it maybe you should think about adopting a dog. You are obviously one of us animal lovers and if you could take a pet from one of the many rescue programs it may offset some of the negatives that life has currently handed you. Life goes on and things will eventually improve for you. Just hang in there.
"Christmas stays if we don't forget its meaning"