Members Area
Countdown to Christmas --
Visit My Merry Christmas on Facebook!   Visit My Merry Christmas on Twitter!   Get My Merry Christmas on RSS

My Merry Christmas Announcement

Introductions New here? Please take a moment to introduce yourself to the community.


  Log-in
  Register



















» Stats
Members: 10,079
Threads: 53,836
Posts: 618,668
Top Poster: xmas365 (162,835)
Welcome to our newest member, MistleToeSnow
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-30-2012, 11:51 AM
linni54 linni54 is offline
Merry Fourms Member
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 8
Thanks: 1
Thanked 15 Times in 4 Posts
linni54 has shown a merry disposition
santahat Families and Christmas

Hi Everyone

I'm linni and am from the UK. I work as a school administrator, and am a very mature student of social work, going into my second year. I know I'm veering on the mad side!

I hope you all enjoyed a Christmas that means a lot to you. For me, it was a topsy turvy one, but then the year has been a topsy turvy one! During the festive season friends and I got talking about what Christmas means to us all. For most it is the gathering of family and friends, whether at home or away.

For us, we are just a threesome, myself, husband and son who is 24. We used to have Christmas at home until he was 8 and then we started travelling at Christmas time, mainly through the United States, but have been in othe places too, such as South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, etc.

I am an only child and son is an only child. There is always pressure because of being that only child. They say what goes round comes round and it certainly did for me this year. When I was my son's age I spent a Christmas in Greece, when I was working out there, and another time in Austria with a boyfriend. You can imagine that my parents' upset that there only child wasn't with them over Christmas.

Now it was my turn. My son, at the last minute, announced that he was going to spend Christmas with his girlfriend and her family, who lives some distance away. He had been overseas for 10 months and came home in the summer. Conseqently they haven't spent much time together. However,I was devastated. For the first time in 16 years we hadn't planned to go away this Christmas due to circumstances, but I assumed he'd stay home and he would join her or she would join him after Christmas or for New Year.

Long story but I ended up taking a short holiday in her hometown, and stayed in a nice hotel, hoping to share just a little of her family's Christmas. It didn't go down terribly well, as I hadn't met them before, but at least I got to see something of my son. I think the family were a little bit surprised that I had left my husband at home, but he had very little time off work this year, so it wasn't possible for us both to go.

I couldn't stand the fact that there would only be the two of us, and not only that, the three of us weren't away as we usually are. When there are two or more children in a family, it's easier because if one is missing the others can make up for it.

Does anyone in a similar situation know what I mean? I know I crossed a few boundaries but I love Christmas and I just wanted our little group, however depleted to be together. However, Son wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, enjoy times out, and experience a traditional family Christmas, which he doesn't really remember having.

Selfish of me, but we all have issues and life can be so hard at times. I can't accept that things have changed and are changing. Oh why didn't I have more children.....!
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to linni54 For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-30-2012), gabulldawg (01-01-2013), SinatraClaus (01-01-2013), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), sugar142286 (01-02-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
  #2  
Old 12-30-2012, 03:41 PM
xmas365's Avatar
xmas365 xmas365 is offline
Christmas dreaming...

Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 162,835
Blog Entries: 96
Thanks: 138,785
Thanked 74,684 Times in 14,905 Posts
xmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Welcome!!! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to xmas365 For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-30-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013)
  #3  
Old 12-30-2012, 04:48 PM
Christmasstar's Avatar
Christmasstar Christmasstar is offline
Leader of the Heavenly Host

Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada eh!
Posts: 127,254
Thanks: 108,067
Thanked 80,259 Times in 13,280 Posts
Christmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintChristmasstar leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
change can be hard and letting our children go to lead their own life can be hard too. Apologize and move on, who knows, they may marry and have a whole parcel of grand kids for you to enjoy.
By the way, the number of kids you have makes no difference, you miss the one not there just as much.

I come from a large family, 5 brothers 1 sister,we all got married and have 17 kids between us. Now some of those are grown and married and the next generation has begun with 10 great grandchildren for my mom. In all there are 54 of us. We live in the USA, across Canada and a few of us live close enough to visit regularly.

Despite this, I have had my Christmas's alone and they have been lonely. I have learned to share that time with others in need so that what I missed did not seem so bad.
You just need to come up with new traditions and new strategies of coping. It is easier these days with email and skype as you can still be in contact, even face to face when you cannot physically be together.
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Christmasstar For This Useful Post:
'Tis the season (01-01-2013), caninemom3 (01-01-2013), ClaireLovesChristmas (01-17-2013), gabulldawg (01-01-2013), momnan30 (12-30-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), sugar142286 (01-02-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
  #4  
Old 12-30-2012, 07:23 PM
momnan30's Avatar
momnan30 momnan30 is offline
Christmas Royalty
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,886
Thanks: 2,461
Thanked 3,928 Times in 922 Posts
momnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companionmomnan30 is a safe caroling companion
Originally Posted by Christmasstar View Post
change can be hard and letting our children go to lead their own life can be hard too. Apologize and move on, who knows, they may marry and have a whole parcel of grand kids for you to enjoy.
By the way, the number of kids you have makes no difference, you miss the one not there just as much.

I come from a large family, 5 brothers 1 sister,we all got married and have 17 kids between us. Now some of those are grown and married and the next generation has begun with 10 great grandchildren for my mom. In all there are 54 of us. We live in the USA, across Canada and a few of us live close enough to visit regularly.

Despite this, I have had my Christmas's alone and they have been lonely. I have learned to share that time with others in need so that what I missed did not seem so bad.
You just need to come up with new traditions and new strategies of coping. It is easier these days with email and skype as you can still be in contact, even face to face when you cannot physically be together.
Christmasstar- this is a beautiful and well said response to a painful situation faced by many.
I agree, no matter how many children, etc. there may be awkward, lonely Christmas years and sometimes, as poignant and bittersweet as they are, they make us appreciate the blessed and happy ones even more!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to momnan30 For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-31-2012), gabulldawg (01-01-2013), linni54 (12-31-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013)
  #5  
Old 12-30-2012, 07:40 PM
aLEKSA. aLEKSA. is offline
Merry Forums Chestnut Roaster
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 139
Thanks: 31
Thanked 665 Times in 85 Posts
aLEKSA. is a good elfaLEKSA. is a good elfaLEKSA. is a good elfaLEKSA. is a good elfaLEKSA. is a good elfaLEKSA. is a good elf
Hello and Welcome Linni
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to aLEKSA. For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-31-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013)
  #6  
Old 12-31-2012, 05:41 AM
irishsnow's Avatar
irishsnow irishsnow is offline
Santa's Mentor

Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Donegal, Ireland
Posts: 5,157
Thanks: 286
Thanked 3,121 Times in 1,061 Posts
irishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the treeirishsnow you could wrap up and put under the tree
Hello and Welcome

__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to irishsnow For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-31-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013)
  #7  
Old 12-31-2012, 08:41 AM
linni54 linni54 is offline
Merry Fourms Member
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 8
Thanks: 1
Thanked 15 Times in 4 Posts
linni54 has shown a merry disposition
Thank you Christmasstar for your valued thoughts and views, much appreciated. As you say, no matter how big or how small the family, everyone has issues they have to deal with, and you're right, I do need to find coping strategies. I thought I had found some, but they didn't include Christmas! Thank you to everyone for your kind and welcoming replies. Linni x
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to linni54 For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (12-31-2012), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
  #8  
Old 01-01-2013, 02:47 PM
Bradmac's Avatar
Bradmac Bradmac is offline
Mayor of The North Pole

Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Bellville, GA
Posts: 46,180
Thanks: 38,217
Thanked 29,140 Times in 4,624 Posts
Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
I can only imagine how terrible empty nest syndrome can be. Hang out here with us...it'll help!

Welcome to MMC, Linni!
__________________
(((Seawaters))) - We're rooting for you!!___***Remembering Louann***
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bradmac For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (01-15-2013), gabulldawg (01-01-2013), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
  #9  
Old 01-01-2013, 05:03 PM
'Tis the season's Avatar
'Tis the season 'Tis the season is offline
Christmasologist
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 1,549
Thanks: 986
Thanked 1,741 Times in 364 Posts
'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe'Tis the season would be nice to meet under the mistletoe
Hi linni54 and welcome to the forums. Your story really touched me. I'm kind of on the other side. I've always travelled home on Christmas Day to be with my mum with my wife doing likewise. We both come home in the evening but next year we want to have our dinner together so we are going to take things year about. I'm an only child and I know my mum is going to be really upset. This is turn is upsetting me. Christmas is a big thing for us and my love of it comes from my mum. It's hard to break traditions we love but life's a changing shifting thing, sometimes for the better and some times the worst but it always changes. Whatever happens with your situation I hope you find contentment and happiness in the future.
__________________
<img src=http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y273/AuntieMistletoe/XmasPicAlbum/Tistheseason324x246-1.jpg border=0 alt= />
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to 'Tis the season For This Useful Post:
caninemom3 (01-01-2013), Christmasstar (01-15-2013), gabulldawg (01-01-2013), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
  #10  
Old 01-01-2013, 08:51 PM
Storeytime's Avatar
Storeytime Storeytime is offline
Christmasologist

Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,636
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 745
Thanked 966 Times in 402 Posts
Storeytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoeStoreytime would be nice to meet under the mistletoe
Welcome Linni!

I have four kids, two grown with families of their own. My two children who are still at home are nearing the time when they will be leaving for college, etc. I am dreading that day. My whole life has been built around my family for 23 years now. I'm sure we will still gather as much as we can on Christmas, but I'm sure the days are coming where it will be harder for the entire family to gather. I understand completely about you going to see your son. I would probably do the same.

Well, welcome aboard. The great place about being a member here is that there is no better place to find people who can relate to your Christmas experiences, both good and bad, than here at MMC.
__________________
"Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'." -- Bing Crosby
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Storeytime For This Useful Post:
Christmasstar (01-15-2013), snowflake22 (01-15-2013), Yuletide Junkie (01-20-2013)
Reply

Bookmarks






Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



Listen to the Merry Podcast NOW

Christmas Fans -- Ranking the Best of Christmas



2012 Founder's Award