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  #1  
Old 05-30-2013, 08:04 PM
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please give me your opinion

For those of you who do not know me well (plus I havent been on here much lately) Im 30 years old and soon to be a single mother of 2 little boys. A 6 and a 3 year old. Im going through a divorce & have a wondeful boyfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We have been dating for about 6 months and having children has come up (not necessarily talked about having kids together) but he asked if I would want another child and I asked him the same. He is my age, single, never been married, no children and is wonderful to my Boys! We both said yes to the question BUT I have an issue. I cannot carry a child. I have my ovaries to produce eggs so I can have a child but because of 2 surgeries last year (had pre cancer and had a very high chance of getting cancer) I am not physically able to carry a child. When is a time to tell him this? I dont feel like I have lied to him because I would love another child but I feel like Im withholding information because of my situation and its killing me. I dont want to scare him off but I dont want to wait and for him to not trust me if I wait too long . We havent talked about marriage yet, but he makes plans and references the future and being there for the Boys as they get older. Also if you found out your girlfriend couldnt carry a child would you leave her for that reason?
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  #2  
Old 05-30-2013, 08:47 PM
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I would say the sooner you tell him the better. It will be a blow to him and he will be disappointed, but if he truly loves you he won't leave you over that. There are lots of ladies out there that can't have kids for one reason or another.

He should be happy that they caught the problem before it got any worse and that you are okay.
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Last edited by made582; 05-30-2013 at 09:01 PM.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:07 PM
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I agree with made.
When you're committed to someone, you will support & love them no matter what. I think it'll be fine.

Wishing you good luck with the conversation, and much happiness in the future.




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Old 05-31-2013, 02:37 AM
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I would say you should bring it up as soon as possible. The longer you wait the longer you are keeping something of importance from him and he would wonder why it wasnt brought up sooner. Im sure once he hears the reason why he will understand completely. Love brought you together, and he has kids he can call his own. Should be a minor bump in the road if even anything at all.
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Old 05-31-2013, 06:19 AM
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I whole heartedly agree with everyone above, the right thing to do is to be open with him now and tell him the truth, (including your desires as well). Look, lets not beat around the bush here... We all know, that if a person truely loves you (not just physically only...) but loves your heart, mind, soul and everything about you, then they will always be with you for everything that is with associated with you; for you!

As a SideBar here: As most of know that have been married for some time, one of the largest things about being in a long term relationship, is also learning to deal/ cope/ live with the other persons faults. If you cannot do that, then the relationship is, well, not going to be good in the long run.

"Just Bee yourself" (a little Aladdin quote there...) and be honest, if it is meant to be, then it will be.....
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Old 05-31-2013, 07:41 AM
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I would tell him soon.
People fall in love for many different reasons, not just to have children together.
People fall in love and stay in love!
Good luck, sending hugs your way!
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Old 05-31-2013, 07:45 AM
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I agree with what has already been posted...the sooner, the better! I am praying for you and hope everything works out for you and your boys.
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:31 AM
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Tell him now! If he's any kind of real man, he'll support you in ANYTHING... if not, well, not to be harsh but, later for him!
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Old 06-03-2013, 06:38 AM
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Undrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the treeUndrtakr you could wrap up and put under the tree
Originally Posted by MsChristmas View Post
For those of you who do not know me well (plus I havent been on here much lately) Im 30 years old and soon to be a single mother of 2 little boys. A 6 and a 3 year old. Im going through a divorce & have a wondeful boyfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We have been dating for about 6 months and having children has come up (not necessarily talked about having kids together) but he asked if I would want another child and I asked him the same. He is my age, single, never been married, no children and is wonderful to my Boys! We both said yes to the question BUT I have an issue. I cannot carry a child. I have my ovaries to produce eggs so I can have a child but because of 2 surgeries last year (had pre cancer and had a very high chance of getting cancer) I am not physically able to carry a child. When is a time to tell him this? I dont feel like I have lied to him because I would love another child but I feel like Im withholding information because of my situation and its killing me. I dont want to scare him off but I dont want to wait and for him to not trust me if I wait too long . We havent talked about marriage yet, but he makes plans and references the future and being there for the Boys as they get older. Also if you found out your girlfriend couldnt carry a child would you leave her for that reason?
Hey,

You sound like an honest person. So I would tell him ASAP. My Mother couldn't have kids of her own so she adopted myself and my sister both from different families. I would NEVER leave my Wife if she couldn't have kids. I love her to death and would die for her. Even before we were married I would do the exact same thing. So prayers are with you. I'm sure he will still love you for you! *hugs*
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Old 06-03-2013, 10:04 PM
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To me, relationships are built on a solid foundation of truth, honesty, and openness....and it needs to being early in the relationship. I dated my wife because I feel in love with her, but I married her because my love for her grew to levels I didn't know existed.

We have our disagreements....but I can tell you we are here now because of basing our relationship on those three things....

Good luck...any man worth his salt will understand....
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