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  #1  
Old 07-20-2010, 01:09 PM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Christmas Jokes!

Please add your favorite Christmas-related joke!


A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course!" he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied: "Ah! But Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
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  #2  
Old 07-21-2010, 07:41 AM
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Minta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the treeMinta you could wrap up and put under the tree
That's cute!
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  #3  
Old 07-21-2010, 07:46 AM
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MerryCarey MerryCarey is offline
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MerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintMerryCarey leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
My grandmother's favorite (requires a Southern U.S. accent):

Little Johnny's Sunday-school teacher asked the class to draw a picture of the Nativity. She was puzzled by something she saw in Johnny's picture.

"Johnny," she asked, "why are the three Wise Men wearing firemen's helmets?"

"Teacher," answered Johnny, "you told us yourself that the three Wise Men came from a far!"

We have another favorite, but it's PG-13 and I'm not sure whether it should be repeated here. About a parrot named Chet that sings Christmas songs.
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  #4  
Old 07-21-2010, 06:15 PM
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ChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the WisemenChristmasHeart could be one of the Wisemen
TEN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT GIFTS YOU DON'T LIKE

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, well, well...
6. I really don't deserve this.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
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  #5  
Old 07-22-2010, 03:23 AM
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kgstyles kgstyles is offline
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kgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the treekgstyles you could wrap up and put under the tree
Just before Christmas, two brothers were spending the night at their Grandma's house. At bed time, they knelt down to say their prayers.
As they closed their eyes, one boy said in a loud voice, "Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a Wii, a telescope and a new bike."
His older brother said, "Why are you shouting? God isn't deaf."
"I know," said his brother, "but Grandma is."
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  #6  
Old 07-22-2010, 02:34 PM
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TwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnogTwinkleLights25 will NOT spit in your eggnog
Originally Posted by ChristmasHeart View Post
TEN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT GIFTS YOU DON'T LIKE

7. Well, well, well...

5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
LOL
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Old 07-23-2010, 08:51 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Why did Santa's helper see a psychiatrist?
Because he had low ELF esteem.
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  #8  
Old 07-26-2010, 08:16 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Why did Santa make his trip last year with only seven reindeer?

Because Comet was left to clean the sink!
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Old 07-28-2010, 09:10 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
One Christmas, Joe and Peter built a skating rink in the middle of a field. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side.

"Look at that", remarked Peter to Joe, "That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!"
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  #10  
Old 07-28-2010, 09:14 AM
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caninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
holly

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !
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