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  #21  
Old 08-03-2010, 08:28 AM
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rodmonster rodmonster is offline
Every time a bell rings..

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rodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the tree
gobble

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

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  #22  
Old 08-03-2010, 08:37 AM
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rodmonster rodmonster is offline
Every time a bell rings..

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rodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the treerodmonster you could wrap up and put under the tree
Psychological Christmas Songs

Psychological Christmas Songs



SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell . . .

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
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  #23  
Old 08-03-2010, 08:57 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. "Okay" said his father. "I'll tell you what I'll do. If you can get your grades up to "A's" and "B's", study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously."
A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said, "I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet."
Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer. "Look, Dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair."
"Yes. I'm aware of that...", replied his father, "... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?"
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  #24  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:39 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
"Why don't we ever hear about 'Olive,' the 10th reindeer?" asked Bert.

"What 10th Reindeer?" asked Scott.

"You know, Olive. As in, ♪♫ Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names. ♫♪"
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  #25  
Old 08-04-2010, 08:40 AM
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made582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintmade582 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!
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  #26  
Old 08-05-2010, 08:18 AM
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Bradmac Bradmac is offline
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus riding in the elevator of a very fancy hotel. Just before the doors opened, they all noticed a five dollar bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

Santa, of course. The other two don't exist!
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  #27  
Old 08-05-2010, 08:43 AM
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Jeniferdwn Jeniferdwn is offline
Merry Forums Eggnog Chugger
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Jeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnogJeniferdwn will NOT spit in your eggnog
these are so cute.....I hope I can remember some of these!
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  #28  
Old 08-06-2010, 11:28 AM
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Bradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintBradmac leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Question: Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
Answer: You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

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  #29  
Old 08-06-2010, 09:47 PM
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xmas365 xmas365 is offline
*<[:{) Ho ho ho!!!

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xmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintxmas365 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
Santa has a fear of getting stuck in the chimney. It's called Santa Claus-trophobia
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  #30  
Old 08-06-2010, 09:53 PM
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caninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saintcaninemom3 leaves the frosting on Santa's cookies, a real saint
holly

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It's Christmas, Eve.

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