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  #1  
Old 07-21-2011, 10:13 AM
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Any one has any good christmas jokes

Any one know any good jokes
about christmas.santa.elf anything christmas
figure it might bring a smile to someones face for a moment..then it will be worth it
I will start...


A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist! ...........

Father Christmas' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge?'
'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a chiropodist.'
'Well, can you give me a toe?'.....................

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck........................

Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!
I'm on my way, Father Christmas.
Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!
That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!.............

How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
Because he's always in the pole position! ..............

How does Santa take his photos?
With his North Pole-aroid! ................

How many chimneys does Santa go down?
Stacks.........

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.'Have you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'...............

'I think I'll have to take this sledge for a service,' Father Christmas sighed.
You'd never get it up the church steps............

So lets hear yours !!!!!!!!!





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Old 07-22-2011, 07:19 AM
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Old 07-22-2011, 07:42 AM
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You're awesome, George!
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Old 07-22-2011, 08:20 AM
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My grandmother always told the story of the little Southern boy at Sunday school who was asked to draw a picture of the Nativity. He got in every detail, but the teacher noticed he had drawn the three Wise Men wearing firemens' helmets. She asked him why. He said, in his cute Southern drawl, "Why, teacher, you told us the three Wise Men came from a-far!"

One of our favorites at home involves a parrot who sings Christmas songs, but it's slightly PG, so I won't repeat it here.
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Old 07-26-2011, 07:57 PM
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Old 09-02-2011, 11:41 AM
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lauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the treelauriebear you could wrap up and put under the tree
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied young lady sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, 'A millionaire son-in-law.'
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:09 AM
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:09 PM
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holly

Originally Posted by Christmas-A-Holic View Post
You're awesome, George!

George you are TRULY AWESOME I agree !!!!! xo
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:12 PM
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holly





This IS true !!!
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Old 09-04-2011, 10:04 PM
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How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at the calen-deer!
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