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  #21  
Old 08-06-2008, 05:43 PM
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To All the Working Parents:
I do have to apologize, as I didn't mean for my post to sound "one-sided". I have been in the work force and I have not. It IS totally up to the parents of the children, and what works for them. I give GIANT "Kudos" to all working parents, as I know how hard it must be to juggle work schedules, childrens activities, and all the other things that come with parenting. Your children are the most important thing, and they will NOT feel less loved or cared for, just because you decide to work. In this day and age, I think that both parents almost need to work, to keep above water. But on the other hand, some parents don't have a choice but to stay home, say because of a disability.

I guess that the true way that I feel, is that anyone who has children, and love them, and care for them.......I thank you......for there are far too many children, who would just love to have parents at all.
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  #22  
Old 08-06-2008, 07:00 PM
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Very nicely put, Sweet Pea1992! I join you in praising all parents who love their children!
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  #23  
Old 08-07-2008, 07:10 AM
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May I also apologize for sounding one sided? I certainly never meant to convey anything but respect .
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  #24  
Old 08-07-2008, 07:29 AM
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I personally do not think either one of you came across as one sided.. I think everyone needs to do what they feel is best for their own personal family. I think there will always be a "debate" against working versus staying at home moms. Im not going to defend why I choose to be a stay at home mom. Its our choice, as its the choice of those that work outside the home. Every situation is different. I enjoy my job to the fullest
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  #25  
Old 08-07-2008, 07:40 AM
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I know plenty of women who "have" to work for one reason or another -- including the choice to work just for the sake of having a career outside of the home.

Now don't get me wrong. I think it is important for any mother to be prepared for any eventuality. Heaven forbid if something happened to me and my wife had to go back into the workforce.

But I don't believe it is humanly possible for a woman to take on a FULL time career and then escape the guilt that comes along with not being there for your kids in a critical moment.

I have seen it too many times to think of it any other way. I have NEVER in my experience seen a woman feel bad about having too much time with her children. But I have seen plenty who feel the opposite.

Women are wired that way by nature I believe and for good reason. Not to be harsh, but talk to any woman about having an abortion -- many will talk one way and usually in a very opinionated way...and then take a completely different tact once they've actually had one.

Some women never reconcile why they feel the way they do. They don't understand that by nature they are given those processes for a reason and that those reasons are GOOD and for their benefit. And they are tailor made for the fine art of raising children. For many women, not only do these talents over take other interests they lead to experiences that enlargen their souls in ways a job never could.

My wife doesn't "work" but she has plenty to occupy her adult interests -- which is, really, I think behind the "need" many express to work. SAHMs suffer many times because of a lack of adult interaction, challenge, stimulation and recognition. That's called being human. And that's the job of a willing partner to help overcome.

Frankly, too many men don't do their part and step up to take over. I might have to travel 5000 miles a week but when I get home I have to be Dad no matter how I feel or what I want. (Sometimes I have to be Dad while on the road, which is always interesting). Moms, after all, have to be Mom 24-7. Many men -- and perhaps this is natural in our case, I don't know -- just check out once they get back to the castle.

In any event, being a parent means checking your "feelings", wants and desires at the door for the betterment of your kids. God in his wisdom has designed it that way and we end up being better people because of it.

I don't judge women who work for whatever reason. But I do feel bad for those who get caught in the trap of thinking they can do both. I work in a female dominated company and I see it over and over again. We lose talented women who thought they could raise their kids and do their jobs. Many go away wanting to come back later -- others have to stay while their lives fall apart. Either way, there is heartache.

The only way to do it to satisfaction is to decided to do it together and take on whatever comes up. TWO have to be dedicated to the idea or it just ain't going to work. In some sad cases I've seen women manipulate their husbands because they NEED to be mothers -- and then disaster ensues because he didn't want kids. That doesn't work either.

You both gotta wanna. And that's why marrying the right person is so critical.
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  #26  
Old 08-07-2008, 07:52 AM
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They don't understand that by nature they are given those processes for a reason and that those reasons are GOOD and for their benefit. And they are tailor made for the fine art of raising children. For many women, not only do these talents over take other interests they lead to experiences that enlargen their souls in ways a job never could.
I like that
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  #27  
Old 08-15-2008, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Scrappin Not Nappin View Post
Being a stay at home spouse is a JOB! People pay day care but don't think about paying the person who is at home taking care of the kids. Decide now that if you'll be the person at home, you are worth as much as the best day care and private school tuition cost. Stay at home spouses are priceless. Have some money set aside each pay period for your personal spending and then spend it on yourself. You deserve it. And set up a time to be on vacation, the kids can go to day care for a few days every year.
Here, Here! I wish my husband, and the world, would take notice!
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  #28  
Old 08-17-2008, 06:25 PM
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present Stay At Home Wife/Mom

Hello Yall,
I too am a stay at home wife/mom.
We've been married for 20 years (August 13th was our anniversary).
We have home schooled all of them. It's been a challenge. But we've made it!! I am of the belief that people pay for what they really want. That's been the way it has been for us. Our children haven't had the very best brand new stuff their friends have had. But we have good kids and they aren't selfish.
It hasn't been an easy road, but a good one. I'm so thankful my husband saw the benefits of home schooling and me stay home with my babies!!
By the way, we listen to the Christmas music from this radio station as we do school. We turn it way down low and the music is fun and relaxing.
I'm so sorry for the wives/moms who long to be home and raise their children. I wish them the very best for what they do!!
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  #29  
Old 08-18-2008, 05:10 AM
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I have three cousins in Denmark and each of them went back to work after 6 months. The children were put in daycare from that age up until when they start school when they're six. I think its because the lifestyle is differnt over there and women are required to go back to work after a period home with the children. They cannot claim unemployment over there unless they have so many working hours, and there is no help as such money wise if you havent got a job. The laws are quite strict. Someone please correct me if I am wrong here, but this is what Ive been told. What do you think of this?
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  #30  
Old 08-26-2008, 04:47 PM
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wow...and I always thought the Social System in Danmark is quite well....


I am a stay at home mom since March 2006...and will be so until Kandice, my daughter starts pre-school next year....then I will find a job....whatever I will find...I´ll do it.....I´m at home, simply because I want to raise her myself....and my mother can´t take her every day, because she has an rheumatic disease....If she could have taken her...I might have done it...but even then....I prefer raising her myself instead of daycare....I have plenty of friends tho, who started work 8 weeks after giving birth.....if it helps them to be happier I´m all for it.

Another problem with me....and another reason for staying home is....I´ve had a terrible post-partal depression...(those depressions, mothers sometimes develope after giving birth)....I had to take medication until two months ago and still see a doctor twice every month....for that...I need health insurance....and in Germany...You have that always...when You have a job....and if You don´t have a job...You have to claim unemployment or HartzIV....which is a little money help including health insurance....If I have a small 400 Euro job...I will fall out of that help...which is what I want...but with the help that is gone...the insurance is gone as well...and it will have to be paid private....which will be about 200Euro.....so if I would do a 400Euro job....which will be like 2x4 hours the week....we would have much less money, because of the health insurance thing....So my finacée and I are planning to get married....firstly because we love each other and secondly....because we live like a married coupled anyway and will save a lot of money being married....because when You are married in Germany....and Your spouse has health insurance.....the other spouse and the children have insurrance as well.....

We are pretty tight with the money and have struggled quite a lot....I´ve a cried a lot....because I´m at home and can´t have a fulltime or at least halfday job....but on the other hand, I´m glad I did not miss any of the developement steps of my babygurl...so it always has two sides...
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