Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Biblical Proof of Santa Claus

The Bible says that Santa exists. This startling revelation comes to us at the North Pole in the form of a letter from a scientist, Dr. Jasper Bumgartner. Here is the full text of what he wrote: Dear Sirs, In the interest of scientific integrity I must admit to the recent discovery of evidence suggesting the existence of Santa Claus that pre-dates even Jesus Christ! In researching for another project …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Catching Santa: Ain’t Gonna Happen

When it comes to Santa simple logic just escapes people. For example, people think Santa keeps a list of kids who are “naughty” and kids who are “nice”. That story has been around for years. It ain’t true. We’ve told you that many times. And yet the story persists. It just is not logical. Nearly every letter that comes to the North Pole bears the words “I’m sorry” first. It …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

It Ain’t About a Bird

Santa gets to see every letter sent to the North Pole eventually. But he has a lot of help in answering the thousands of letters that he receives each week. He’d love to answer each one personally, but he just can’t. And, in many of the letters, the things people ask can clearly be answered by someone else “in-the-know”. In the case of the North Pole, they can be answered …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

When It is Not Christmas at the North Pole

It nearly hit 70 degrees here the other day. Almost had to take my sweater off. That’s sweltering for the North Pole. Such is summer here. Oh, I know what you’re saying. Some of you think it is Christmas here all the time. Many have visions of endless pails of eggnog, of trees lit up 24 hours a day and of stockings perpetually hung by the chimney with care. Yeah, …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Playing Head Games with Santa

Santa knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. Pretty scary, huh? But what’s the big deal? A really good cat burglar can know the same thing about you. What’s worse is that he knows if you’ve been bad or good. Think about that: he knows. The very thought kind of gives me the creeps. And I’m an elf one who is considered a superior citizen if there …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Santa Everywhere

It is the question that just won’t go away: How does Santa get around the world in one night? I’ve never been one to understand how kids can ask this question. After all, Santa never fails to appear. I’ve lived through more Christmases than almost anyone and Santa has been there for every one of them. Every time. Without fail. He has never called in sick. He has never had …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Why the Big Guy is a Big Guy

We live in a politically correct world these days. That means we’re careful in how we say things. For whatever reason, Christmas is a target in the battles of political correctness. In some place, folks won’t say “Merry Christmas” — they’ll say “Happy Holidays” instead because they don’t want to be “offensive”. That’s silliness, of course. You know it, I know it and all the world knows it. But in …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

A Fat Man’s Holiday

Someone around here keeps mentioning that Thanksgiving is Santa’s favorite holiday. We keep getting letters disputing that fact and arguing that nothing can supplant Christmas as the day for Santa — or anybody else at the North Pole for that matter. Some readers write the dumbest letters. A man from Toledo wrote to say that everyday is Christmas at the North Pole and that there are no other holidays observed …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Why Santa Doesn’t Use Eight Tiny Penguins

Fact: Santa uses reindeer to deliver the goods. When we grow up the first reference any of us hear to reindeer is in association with Santa (except for a few kids in Lapland) and so we simply think of them as Santa’s kind of animal. Everyone knows about it, and most people accept it without question. Most people. There is however a contingent of discontented people out there who must …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

Halloween: What’s the Point?

I don’t get Halloween. Ok, so there isn’t a seven-year-old kid alive who doesn’t like to dress up. And getting free candy door-to-door is an idea whose appeal is clear to see. But what’s the point? When you think of Thanksgiving there is no doubt what it is all about. Sure, like all holidays, we embellish the point a bit but when you get right down to it a prayer …
Elf Ed ZacharyNorth Pole

The Parent Santa Connection

Reading Santa’s mail is an exercise in human psychology. There are the sweet letters from five-year-old girls who don’t ask for anything from Santa, they just want to send a letter where they can dot their I’s with a little heart. Seven-year-old boys are direct. Their letters read more like shopping lists. Quick, dull and to the point. We get letters from older folks too. Sad mothers who can’t afford …