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Family Opposition?

Discussion in 'Christmas Controversy & Opinion' started by Lacim84, May 19, 2012.



  1. Lacim84

    Lacim84 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    Most in my family do not celebrate Christmas or any of the holidays due to religous beliefs, and some have even cut ties with me because I do. I'm not even able to talk about it or show my parents pictures of my children on christmas morning because they oppose it so strongly. Has anyone here faced a similar situation with family members? And do you have any advice on dealing with it?
     
    16 people like this.
  2. Christmasstar

    Christmasstar one Crazy Canadian ! MMC Lifer

    I have a brother who will not celebrate Christmas. We respect that and do not send him gifts or cards. He lives across the country so family Christmas parties are not an issue.
    I would suggest the same for you, simply do not talk about it with them. Enjoy your celebrations but do not try to include them. Find other things you have in common and can have fun with. Summer BBQ's, dinners, or just fun visits with the kids and grandparents.
     
    11 people like this.
  3. Bullypup

    Bullypup Charles Dickens' Editor MMC Lifer

    It's important to realize that not everyone thinks and feels about Christmas the way that we do. Most of my family enjoys Christmas but none of them love in the way that I do. They think I'm nuts for thinking and talking about it year round. I suggest being thoughtful and respectful of thier thoughts and feelings but don't let how they feel impact and diminish how you feel about Christmas. Continue to enjoy it. Live and let live.
     
    11 people like this.
  4. trackrebel

    trackrebel candy cane hustla MMC Lifer

    wow I am sorry for that situation...I am glad I am not in a situation like this...because I wouldn´t know how to deal wit it....horrible......I am sorry about it
     
    10 people like this.
  5. Solice

    Solice Christmas Royalty MMC Lifer

    That's terrible.. and so sad!
    For you, for your kids and for your family.

    But, what can you do?
    I would continue to enjoy Christmas.
    If they don't like it, it's their problem.
     
    10 people like this.
  6. Lacim84

    Lacim84 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    Thanks everyone. Nothing or no one will ever make me feel bad about taking part in such a beautiful holiday.

    A couple of days ago I "liked" My Merry Christmas on FB and this morning while on the phone with my Mom she brought it up. Saying how wrong it was to like something like that.

    I'm amazed at how disrepectful people can be. I respect people's beliefs and how they choose to live their life. I expect the same. And if I don't agree with their choice, I simply keep it to myself. We all have freedom of choice. Period. It's sad when my own parents raised me to believe that and now that I've chosen a different path, they refuse to accept or support it.

    Oh well, on a happier note, the weather is beautiful here in South Texas and I'm taking my kiddos swimming this afternoon.
    :wink:
     
    9 people like this.
  7. jennifer91

    jennifer91 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    If your mom tries bringing up your love for Christmas or anything that you "like" on Facebook that is related to Christmas, I would ignore her from now on and change the conversation to something else. I would mention to her that you would like her to be respectful towards you and your beliefs and you will do the same for her. As others have mentioned, go about your typical family activities but refrain from any mention of Christmas. If it is bothering them so much that they feel the need to bring it up at some point, I would again just ignore it and move on to not cause a disagreement or argument.

    You know you have everyone here who loves Christmas just as much as you do! Most people don't understand how we can be so happy and excited for it all year round, so it's nice to be able to come here and share the same view.

    As for family cutting ties with you, I think that is very dramatic on their part. It's not like you are trying to shove it in their face or make them celebrate Christmas and every aspect of it. I would just be happy and thankful that you can celebrate it with your kids. You still can enjoy the Christmas magic year-round! :]
     
    8 people like this.
  8. shellie12

    shellie12 North Pole Resident MMC Lifer

    I agree with everyone else here
    Its sad that they can the part of the kids christmas but its there loss
    Guess you cant make people believe in something if they dont want to. but at the same time they should respect you and you beliefs
    Your there daughter does love not come into it ??
    But as someone said on here. live and let live. i wood let them celebrate it there way or not celebrate as the cast may be and you do it your way..
    One thing god give us is a freedom of choice.. to do or not to do .. and we all have the same choice. you choose to love christmas the choose not to..
     
    7 people like this.
  9. merrymistletoe

    merrymistletoe MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    hey there doll! just a few questions; do your rents live in your town? do you have other family or close friends who love Christmas as you do?
    i'm sorry to disagree w/ your mother but loving Christmas is not "WRONG"!! the reason for my questions is #1 if your rents don't live in your town, i see how it would be easier to have your own celebrations & beliefs w/out your rents guilting you about them. as rents, sometimes it makes it easier to voice their opinions loudly & not have repercussions. sad but true! #2 i was wondering if you have others to be w/ during special times like Christmas since your rents do not take part.
     
    4 people like this.
  10. Lacim84

    Lacim84 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    My parents live in Arkansas and I live in Texas, about 10 hours apart. Granted, it is easier because they don't visit during the holidays. They make a point to stay away during that time, which I'm rather thankful for.

    However, it doesn't stop them from constantly bringing it up. I NEVER bring up the subject of holidays, religion or anything of that nature simply because I know how the conversation will end. My Mom is a very persistent women, she truely believes I will one day change my ways, and stop celebrating holidays.

    And yes, we thankfully have a wonderful circle of friends and a hand full of family members that we share a love of Christmas with. My husband's parents are like mine, they do not observe holidays either. But we do have a few extended family members that we get together with, including my brother-in-law and his wife and kids.

    Most importantly, we have eachother. And as long as I have my husband and my two amazing kids, I'll be a happy woman.
     
    7 people like this.
  11. merrymistletoe

    merrymistletoe MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    you have a great outlook on things girl!! good for you. wow, isn't that something......your b-i-l celebrates the Christmas season too...was he raised in the same home as your hubby? if so that speaks volumes!!!

    anyhoo, you just join in here w/ us & celebrate all you want doll!
     
    5 people like this.
  12. Santa Johnny Boy

    Santa Johnny Boy Downtown Pittsburgh Santa MMC Lifer

    Lacim84,

    Thank God that we live in a country where one is allowed to make choices!

    I play Santa Claus in a department store at Christmas time (the best job in the world) and I am surprised how many foreign families come to visit me because they don't (or aren't allowed to) celebrate Christmas in their country.

    I remember the time, there was a married couple in their 30's who wanted to sit on Santa's lap because in their country, it was, "the most illegal thing that one could do".

    They appeared to be middle eastern but I don't know exactly which country. The were dressed normally and I would not have thought of them as being anything but American born. I gave them the full Santa treatment, "have you been good?, doing your chores?, what did you want for Christmas?", etc. They both laughed and had a picture taken.

    When the picture was brought over, the woman looked at it and cried. She told me, "We could have been put to death for having done this. Thank God we're Americans now."
     
  13. MerryCarey

    MerryCarey A Voice from the North MMC Lifer MMC Donor Santa's Elf Christmas Crew Louann Jeffries Award Kringle Radio DJ

    A beautiful story ... with Memorial Day around the corner, it's a reminder of the freedoms our armed forces have fought and died for. Thank you.
     
  14. lauriebear

    lauriebear Christmas Royalty Merry Forums Member

    I wish I had some more profound words of wisdom, but I don't. I do agree that when your mother brings up the topic you should if possible, ignore it and change the topic, if you cannot just state, I would rather not discuss this with a non-believer, I respect your decision not to embrace Christmas, I ask you extend the same respect to me and keep your negitive comments to yourself, be clam, and respectful, although I do not think your Mother will stop it may become less. This might be very important to establish ground rule around your you g children too, they may get confused by comments said by your mother. Sometime the ones we love do not realize that they hurt us, they may think they are doing it for your own good or out of love for you, not even knowing they are hurting the ones they love. Good luck with everything.
     
    4 people like this.
  15. merrymistletoe

    merrymistletoe MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    thank you so much for sharing this w/ us all here. this young lady's emotions were so genuine & innocent. just a reminder of how blessed we really are. thanks again Santa Johnny Boy!
     
    2 people like this.
  16. JeanetteDi

    JeanetteDi Christmas Decoration Expert Merry Forums Member

    This is such a great story!! I Love it!
     
    2 people like this.
  17. xmastidings

    xmastidings Santa's Mentor MMC Lifer MMC Donor

    This is a very delicate matter because I feel that you want to be close to your family but yet, live, breath, enjoy and believe in the things that make you, truely happy deep inside.

    Well, the truth is, that we simply (in this life) cannot please everyone (especially family), no matter how much we try to, someone will always be un-happy. So, I say live life for yourself and for your immediate family, be happy with your everyday life with no regrets, believe in what you want to believe in and if your family cannot respect that, then so be it. You cannot change the way other people think unless they themselves, are open to change and want to change themselves.

    I myself, believe in Christmas, the spirt of Santa Clause and everthing that associates itself to it Christmas, and because so, I have had family members and co-workers make jokes of me for years because I listen to Christmas music all year long, my house looks like Clark Griswolds at Christmas time, I am a part of MMC family (at least I think so) and watch Christmas movies all thru the year.
    I just look at it this way, they can just go-ahead and continue to live their life the way they choose and be miserable and I will live life by the way I choose and be happy; happy because I believe, happy to be here and happy to have friends that believe in Christmas as much as I do.....

    If you are happy, that's what counts the most; (This may sound a little cold, but it is not intended to be so), but, if your family cannot respect that, well, just tell them that, you love them, your door is always open, but that you, have to live life to make you happy, not them and that they need to respect the way you feel, for you, respect the way they feel.....
     
    2 people like this.
  18. Lacim84

    Lacim84 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    Thanks everyone for the advice and kind words.

    My parents came to visit a few weeks ago. My Mom saw a picture of my son on Christmas morning hanging on the wall, she didn't say anything but went to the guest bathroom and stayed for a while. When she finally emerged I noticed she had been crying.

    I don't like hurting her but I will stand my ground on this. I finally had to give her an ultimatum.

    I gave her the choice to come and visit and keep her opinions to herself or do not come at all. I had to tell my parents if the subject is brought up again, that they would not be welcome in my home anymore. I respect them and their beliefs and show them respect when I'm at their house, I expect the same.

    I'm washing my hands of the constant debate with my family. I told my own mother to tread lightly because she is pushing me to a breaking point. And I would hate to have to keep my children away from her and my dad.

    My heart is heavy.
     
    5 people like this.
  19. Sunshine73

    Sunshine73 MMC Emeritus Member MMC Emeritus Member

    It's a difficult position but I think you've handled it appropriately. You understand that she has a different belief system and you respect that but you also have every right to expect that she will respect YOUR belief system as well. Especially in your home.

    I'm sorry things have been made so stressful. :(
     
    4 people like this.
  20. MerryNoel

    MerryNoel Santa Clausologist MMC Donor MMC Emeritus Member

    Just wanted to offer a big old Christmas filled HUG!!!
     
    3 people like this.

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