Oh my gosh, "Carl the Camel", he was such a celebrity and always had a life of his own that we
all gave him.
all gave him.
THE OPERA Part XIXIXVVI
Act 1: The curtain opens to the traditional empty stage. 20 minutes later the curtain closes:
end Act 1
Act II: Jayish enters and dances a Paus Du Lux entitled “ I am not a marshmallow kinda guy” The entire company enters and sings the beautiful aria” Peeps”. Coach enters and announces via an aria that as ambassador they are hereby proclaiming the “ Year of the Peep” and everyone will joyfully celebrate by going to their local CVS and ingesting handfuls of yellow peeps. Made and Prancer sing the beautiful aria “ Peeps: They’re Not just for breakfast”. Binger sings the aria “ Peeps and Coffee” what a winning combo! Brad enters and with CG Yaeger sings the aria “ Everyone should be fluorescent” . There is great rejoicing when on the mountaintop Crown appears and announces via an aria that The Peep Show is being cancelled due to the loud noise being made when they are chewed and thus it keeps them awake. The entire company sings a mournful aria entitled..” Ain’t no peeps when she’s gone..” as the Curtain closes
End Act II
Edge and Do You hear what I hear enter and sing the aria “ My country peeps of thee”. Jayish enters and dances the scandalous Paus Du Lux entitled “ Peep at me”- the entire company enter and vow to carry on the peep show and celebration and sing the aria “ Peep it Up baby”- Crown again appears and using their wizardly powers seizes Jayish, McGunny, Christmas Star and Homemakin Girl and imprison them in the plastic cylinder. The entire remaining company sings the aria “ What’s Peeps Got To do with it” and vow to boycott CVS until the imprisoned comrades are released. The Act closes with a close up of Crown sleeping on a giant peep.
End Act III
Act IV: Finale
The villagers arrive and lead by Binger sing the aria from the 1973 Coven hit “ One Tin Solider” only substituting the lyrics “ Go ahead and cheat a friend” for “ Go ahead and deny a Peep” . Carl the Camel appears on stage and the villagers rush to empty his hump of a brewed peep blend. Then, using his two humps as a solidified slingshot, they pepper Crown ( still asleep on a giant peep) with a barrage of chocolate m and ms which awakens them. Crown awakens realizing the error of their ways due to a loud candy causing even LESS SLEEP, and in one of the most moving moments ever in operatic history, announces the Peep show starring Jayish was back on and the Peep celebration was again to be restored. The company rush the plastic cylinder and release the hostages. There is great joy as the entire company come together to sing the aria “ It’s a marshmallow world” as the curtain closes and peeps are dropped from the ceiling… End….
THE OPERA... PART XXXVVVIIIXX
Opens to a blank stage... after twenty minutes we hear a percolating sound- curtain closes for a twenty minute intermission...
Opens with Carl the Camel bounding up the escalator of the Crabtree Valley Mall.. a huge crowd follows and partakes of the holiday mistletoe berry mocha and peanut butter blend.. Jayish appears and dances a "paus du lux" entitled " Food Court Calamity..Orange Julius is out of business" Binger and Made arrive and sing the aria " Ain't no sunshine for those who don't drink java.." Bradmac and Xmastidings arrive with the Mayor/manager of Crabtree Valley Mall (Bradmac) and announce via an aria that the holiday favorite play.. "The feast of collapsing brick and mortar retail" would be performed in the closed Sears parking lot each day leading up to Christmas Eve.." the crowd rejoices and there is great festivity including at the Cinnabon stand which announces via an aria- a new flavor with only 3400 calories per bite..
end Act two
Opens with Ballcoach banging his head and golf club across a closed gate and singing the aria.."Why must the sporting goods store close- its so needed- why not Barnes and Noble?"- Sugarmuffin and Edge arrive and to console Coach sing him the aria " Cheer Up.. there's a golfing channel on every TV at Target"- Coach appears to cheer up- and there is great rejoicing as everyone prepares for opening night of the Feast of collapsing brick and mortar retail.. Then.. there is a flash of lightning and Crown appears at the head of the escalator.. they are angry that the festive spirit has disturbed their morning nap at the Sleep factory store- using their wizardly/witch (after all- Crown is gender neutral) powers they ban all people from going up and down the escalator at the Crabtree Valley Mall and also announce that the feast of collapsing brick and mortar retail will not take place.. then just for good measure, they banish Jayish into the plastic cylinder that sits in the space once occupied by Macys (also closed).. Jayish dances the paus du lux entitled.. " Binger can we please get some new props in an opera. I am tired of the plastic cylinder." McGunny announces via an aria to everyone that Crown is now sleeping on the couch at Pottery Barn.
end Act Three
Act 4 (finale)
Opens with the crowd at the Crabtree Valley Mall all secretly meeting at the site of the former Bath and Body Works. Homemakin Girl and Snowflake Mom announce via an aria that they have hatched a plan to free Jayish and carry on the feast by setting fire to 2,000 candles taken from the going out of business sale at Yankee Candle and smoking Crown out. Minta CCYager and Brent argue via an aria that this violates S Claus of the tenants of the Mall ( get it?) and instead propose that they spike a cinnabon with a magic potion. Binger agrees to mix the potion using a blend from Carl the Camel and then is seen leaving it near Crown as they sleep outside the Apple Store ( the "EVERYTHNG MUST GO SIGNS" are seen swaying beautifully in the background). Crown is seen eating the Cinnabon and in one of the most beautiful moments ever in Operatic history announces they have had a change of heart and the feast of collapsing brick and mortar could proceed along with Jayish being released from the plastic cylinder. The entire company comes together and lead by Christmasstar and Yuletide Junkie sings the aria" Victor Gruen ( invented the concept of Mall shopping) where are you?" Jayish dances a paus du lux entitled" Picadilly Cafeteria.." as the curtain closes
The Opera: PART XIVXIV
Curtain Rises -we see Carl the Camel enter onto the bare stage- O Malley the Cat also enters staying at least 6 feet behind- they remain for 20 minutes- curtain closes 20 minute intermission
Act 2- Enters- it is the Cloverleaf Mall- Jayish enters and dances a paus du lux entitled “ Why so empty?”- Binger enters singing the aria “ Coffee.. I must have coffee” and is seen staggering around the set” – Made enters singing the aria “ There is no coffee to be found and alas.. even Bath and Body works and their Ocean Blue scent cannot be found..” Coach enters and is seen waving a ball and mitt and sings the mournful opera “ Whatever happened to Johnny Bench and while we are at it DICKS Sporting Goods is not open”- he ends the aria by collapsing onto the stage. Auntie Misteltoe enters and sings the aria “Cheer Up Folks- I have crocheted coasters for everyone in the shape of Maple Leaves..” Just then Crown enters at the top of the escalator and blows hard with yellow pollen dust to cover everything and announces that the spell will close everything for the next two weeks except for the mattress store which is considered essential service… The act closes as IteachPercussion breaksout their flute and performs the Safarri’s classic 1966 hit “wipeout”- Jayish dances a paus du lux in the background. End Act2.
Act 3- Opens with Bradmac singing the Opera..” My Tractor.. My Tractor..” weeping because it needs new spark plugs and ADVANCED is closed. Rich enters and tries to console Brad by suggesting they play a game of cribbage. This excites Brad and they entice Yultide Junkie, homekain girl, and Meceka to join them – there is great joy as Jayish dances a paus du Lux entitled “ Cribbage: No one gets it..”- Prancer, Cojack, and Edge arrive and sing the aria “ After Cribbage there will be a Scrabble Tournament” There is great excitement by the entire cast except for Prancer who sings the woeful aria “ I got the X and the Z tile..” The lighting goes from dark to light as the entire cast joins in singing “ back off 6 feet.” ( curtain closes..)
Act 4 ( Finale)- we again see Crown blowing yellow pollen dust and announcing via aria that the Cribbage, Scrabble and Paus Du Luxing will end. Christmas Tinsel and December is Coming join Merry Carey in singing the aria “ Who needs consumerism in the highest form- we have macramé, and paint by numbers, and the bedazzler to keep us busy..” Snowflake mom, sugar,and Minta join Jeff in announcing via aria that they have a plan to ease the pain of everyone and invite the cast to circle Crown and do a rain dance which brings about a downpour causing a yellow pool of water to form as solice and martine are seen pushing Crown into the pool. And , in one of the most moving scenes ever in operatic history -they reemerge and announce that the indoor games will go on and that Bath and Body Works will again open to sell their “ Tropical Turtle Scented Crème”- A cheer goes up by the entire company as they come together to sing the 1978 Disco classic “ I will survive..” (end..)