Elf Ed Zachary

ed_zacharyHe is not your every day elf. He is a little cantankerous, a little edgy and sometimes a bit, well, impatient. He is also absolutely brilliant. When the more dubious kids out there ask the really tough questions, nobody can explain the mysteries of Santa Claus better than Elf Ed. As Ed likes to say, when you want it Ed Zachary right, he’s your guy. But we must warn you. Elf Ed doesn’t pull any punches. We wouldn’t recommend getting smart with him. He’s very old. And he doesn’t like people who think they are smarter than he is. Elf Ed writes regular columns for the North Pole Gazette. We reprint a few classics here every year.

Catching Santa: Ain’t Gonna Happen
So you think you can catch Santa in your house, eh? Think again.

Top Ten Reasons You Don’t Want to be an Elf
Being an elf isn’t all it is cracked up to be.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People
Why Santa just can’t fix everything.

The Rudolph Controversy
What they didn’t explain on TV.

Why there really is a Santa Claus
If you can follow this logic you’ll never doubt Santa again. Read this slowly, then read it again.

The Parent Santa Connection
Find your presents in the closet? Here’s the scoop on Santa and parents.

Playing Head Games with Santa
He knows when you’re sleeping. Isn’t that a little creepy?

It Ain’t About a Bird
Why Thanksgiving is so meaningful to Santa Claus.

Why the Big Guy is a Big Guy
The media and some businesses are all over Santa because, well, he’s a big guy. Elf Ed Zachary explains why Santa needs to be a big guy.

Why Santa Doesn’t Use Eight Tiny Penguins
When it comes to animals, Santa has tried them all.

How Santa Does It
Answering the big questions about Santa.

Halloween — What’s the point?
Ok, a kid dresses up as someone he is not and wants what? I don’t get it.

In Honor of the Christmas Stocking
The deep symbolism of a cherished tradition explained.

When It is Not Christmas at the North Pole
For this elf, moderation in all things is advised.

The Magic of Santa
Some say Santa is magic. Elf Ed Zachary says that’s hogwash.

Santa Everywhere
Around the world in one night? That’s easy.

Christmas Controversies
You would not believe what we argue about here at the North Pole.

Biblical Proof of Santa Claus
Yes, Santa is in the Bible. You could look it up.

A Fat Man’s Holiday
How to know Santa from Shinola.