{"id":10423,"date":"2008-09-29T12:59:15","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T12:59:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/?p=10423"},"modified":"2014-09-29T13:00:15","modified_gmt":"2014-09-29T13:00:15","slug":"what-will-i-get-for-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/what-will-i-get-for-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"What will I get for Christmas?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Ernest, <\/p>\n

What will I get for Christmas<\/a>? <\/p>\n

Thanks,
\nMaria <\/em><\/p>\n

I haven’t a clue. And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. <\/p>\n

It would be really easy to find out. All I have to do is to enter your name into my computer here and up would pop a screen with everything about you, Maria. Not only could I see what you’re getting for Christmas<\/a> but I can see what you are doing at home and how your school work is coming. I can even access a report from the Tooth Fairy with your dental history. <\/p>\n

But there’s no need for me to do that. As an elf<\/a>, I am sworn to privacy. And that runs two ways. Just as I won’t peek on you I also refuse to disclose Santa’s knowledge or plan for you. <\/p>\n

When I became an elf<\/a> I signed the Elf<\/a> Code of Ethics and I swore to a strict contract governing behavior. Inclusive in these obligations is not only secrecy of these things but, more importantly, respecting the sacred nature of giving. To tell you what Santa<\/a> is getting you for Christmas<\/a> would rob him of the pleasure he receives from giving. And I could never do such a thing to a giver such as Santa<\/a>. <\/p>\n

So, like the rest of us, you’ll just have to wait. <\/p>\n

Oh, by the way, nice job on that pilgrim report. Your folks must be proud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Ernest, What will I get for Christmas? Thanks, Maria I haven’t a clue. And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. It would be really easy to find out. All I have to do is to enter your name into my computer here and up would pop a screen with everything about you, Maria. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4334,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","iawp_total_views":18,"footnotes":""},"categories":[90,86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-ernest","category-north-pole"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}