{"id":10449,"date":"2002-01-29T13:23:52","date_gmt":"2002-01-29T13:23:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/?p=10449"},"modified":"2014-09-29T13:24:56","modified_gmt":"2014-09-29T13:24:56","slug":"top-10-ways-to-avoid-getting-coal-in-your-stocking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/top-10-ways-to-avoid-getting-coal-in-your-stocking\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Ways to Avoid Getting Coal in Your Stocking"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>10. Don&#8217;t hang your stocking. <\/p>\n<p>9. Fill your own stocking. <\/p>\n<p>8. Put someone else&#8217;s name on your stocking. <\/p>\n<p>7. Sew your stocking shut. <\/p>\n<p>6. Put mousetraps in your stocking. (CAUTION: Could backfire.)<\/p>\n<p>5. Leave all your <a href=\"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/sneaking-christmas\/\">lights<\/a> on to make <a href=\"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/celebrating-20-years-of-the-merry-forums\/\">Santa<\/a> think you&#8217;re still awake. <\/p>\n<p>4. Stay up late and plead for mercy when the Coalman cometh. <\/p>\n<p>3. Leave <a href=\"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/celebrating-20-years-of-the-merry-forums\/\">Santa<\/a> tickets to the next Cardinals game instead of cookies. <\/p>\n<p>2. Call the cops, have <a href=\"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/celebrating-20-years-of-the-merry-forums\/\">Santa<\/a> arrested. <\/p>\n<p>1. Line your chimney with superglue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>10. Don&#8217;t hang your stocking. 9. Fill your own stocking. 8. Put someone else&#8217;s name on your stocking. 7. Sew your stocking shut. 6. Put mousetraps in your stocking. (CAUTION: Could backfire.) 5. Leave all your lights on to make Santa think you&#8217;re still awake. 4. Stay up late and plead for mercy when the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4204,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","iawp_total_views":30,"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,91],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-north-pole","category-north-pole-top-ten"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10449","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10449"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10449\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4204"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}