{"id":10486,"date":"2008-10-01T14:01:43","date_gmt":"2008-10-01T14:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/?p=10486"},"modified":"2014-09-29T14:02:49","modified_gmt":"2014-09-29T14:02:49","slug":"santa-speaks-2008","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mymerrychristmas.com\/x\/santa-speaks-2008\/","title":{"rendered":"Santa Speaks 2008"},"content":{"rendered":"

Early every October Santa<\/a> sits down to be interviewed by a media personality. This has been his tradition almost as long as there has been a modern media. This year, Santa<\/a> sat down with long time political reporter Hugh Kelly of KLIP-TV. This year Santa<\/a> addresses the state of the world, the elections, the importance of talking with parents and his concerns with the Chicago Cubs — again. Oh — and Santa<\/a> tells a joke this year, too. <\/em><\/p>\n

Q: Hello, Santa<\/a>.
\nA:. Hello, Hugh. How are you? <\/p>\n

Q: Fine, fine. I\u2019ve got to ask you first thing — are you upset about the Cubs?
\nA:. [sighs] No, not really. They had a good season and finished well. <\/p>\n

Q: Santa<\/a>, they lost.
\nA: Well they still had a great season. Maybe next year will be their season. <\/p>\n

Q: People have been saying that for a long time.
\nA: Me included. You gotta have hope. <\/p>\n

Q: Don\u2019t you think it is time to root for another team, Santa<\/a>? I mean, it\u2019s the Cubs, Santa<\/a>. They\u2019ve got a reputation and you do too now that you\u2019ve long been such a Cubs fan. People are starting to talk.
\nA: Are they really? Well, it could be worse, I could be an Oakland Raiders fan. <\/p>\n

Q: Very funny, Santa<\/a>. I didn\u2019t know Santa<\/a> had a sarcastic side.
\nA: I\u2019m just teasing. Everyone loves the Cubs because they really aren\u2019t losers. They have a good season like this year, show a little heart and personality and you just know that one of these days they will rise to the level of champion. They are winners and that is why everyone loves them. Even you, Hugh, have to love<\/a> the Cubs. <\/p>\n

Q: Actually, I\u2019m a big Cubs fan. I always have been. How did you know that, Santa<\/a>?
\nA: Well, that\u2019s my job — to know things about people. To see into their hearts. <\/p>\n

Q: That\u2019s a little creepy, Santa<\/a>.
\nA: Some might see it that way, I suppose. But I mean no harm. I just want to help. And when you help someone you have to peer into their hearts. <\/p>\n

Q: Well, I can understand seeing someone hurt by the side of the road and trying to help, Santa<\/a>. But how in the world can you translate that into knowing whether or not someone is a Cubs fan?
\nA: Well, you\u2019re right they are different. But if you spend time — and I mean a lot of time — in a heart and soul effort to help other people it changes who you are as a person. You develop skills and abilities you never knew you had. Kind of like a batting eye, I suppose you could say, on a professional hitter. Those guys spend their lives playing baseball from the youngest ages. As they progress level by level to the major leagues they refine skills the average person would never have with a baseball bat. It is the same thing with people skills. I don\u2019t consider it a talent, I consider it a necessary skill in helping people. <\/p>\n

Q: Yeah, but Santa\u2026having access to that kind of ability is to have access to great power.
\nA: Yes, a power to do some good. <\/p>\n

Q: But what if someone had that skill but didn\u2019t possess your good intent?
\nA: Without the intent there is no developing the skill. We\u2019re not talking about playing drums or making bread kind of skill here, Hugh. The basis for this skill is love<\/a>. True love<\/a> never begets evil. <\/p>\n

Q; So to be Santa<\/a> you HAVE to be good?
\nA: Yes, there is no such thing as a bad Santa<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Q: Oh, I don\u2019t know about that.
\nA: Why? Because you read of people in the news who play Santa<\/a> but do naughty things? <\/p>\n

Q: Yes, exactly. That was one of the things I wanted to ask you about, Santa<\/a>. You\u2019ve had a very tough year in the media.
\nA: Well, not me exactly. But you\u2019re right. The image of Santa<\/a> Claus has taken a hit this year. It happens all the time. <\/p>\n

Q: Can\u2019t you do anything about that?
\nA: Not really. <\/p>\n

Q: C\u2019mon. You\u2019re one of the most famous people in all the world. Arguably, aside from the President of the United States or a movie star or something you ARE the most famous person in the world. Can\u2019t you get a trademark or something?
\nA: [laughs] No, no. I\u2019m not interested in playing those games. <\/p>\n

Q: But, Santa<\/a> — don\u2019t you have to protect yourself?
\nA: Yes, but the best way to protect myself is to just be myself. No matter how many fake Santas are out there the real one is going to do what he always does. He\u2019ll spread love<\/a>. He\u2019ll bring good cheer. He\u2019ll be a good example. He\u2019ll try to love<\/a> as many as he can. <\/p>\n

Q: What would you say to those who portray you in a professional capacity?
\nA: Well, first, I\u2019d say thank you. <\/p>\n

Q: Really? After all that has happened this year? Do you realize that you have professional Santas out there fighting with each other, running for president in your name, building websites and making money selling everything from letters and phone calls from Santa<\/a> to Santa<\/a> diet plans and other money-making schemes. Doesn\u2019t that bother you? All you can say is thank you to these greedy old guys?
\nA: The vast majority of them aren\u2019t that way, Hugh. For all the bad press a few bad apples have gotten me there are hundreds more who work in relative anonymity for no money — just for the love<\/a> of others. With a twinkle in their eye they carry the spirit of Christmas<\/a> where ever they go. To them, I give a tip of the hat and a pat on the back. I love<\/a> those guys. <\/p>\n

Q: But Santa<\/a> — think of the damage they do to your image!
\nA: Oh, baloney. I\u2019ve had movies made that portray me poorly. There are commercials run that show me endorsing all kinds of terrible products, making me endorse bad habits and poor lifestyles. Music that is inappropriate is tied to me and all manner of written material that is false is produced against me. None of that matters. I\u2019m still Santa<\/a>. Those who know me and love<\/a> me know what pure Christmas<\/a> is. They don\u2019t get turned by those who use me. Besides, if I get a trademark and go to court and get mean and nasty with these people will it really stop them? It would be like throwing bricks in the Grand Canyon. That is all I would do with my time. The best policy is to ignore them and to just be myself. <\/p>\n

Q: So nothing they are doing ever gets you angry?
\nA: Well, I am a human being. When I see a person using the image of Santa<\/a> to hurt a child I get very angry. <\/p>\n

Q: But you cannot do anything about those guys.
\nA: That\u2019s right. It is going to happen. <\/p>\n

Q: But what about the kids, Santa<\/a>? What happens if one of these guys says something to a child that might make them doubt or might hurt their feelings?
\nA: Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. When you see me somewhere and people are lined up you notice one thing right away. It is always children who want to sit on my lap and talk to me. If it weren\u2019t for kids, there would be no Santa<\/a>. A real kid can tell when they are talking to the real Santa<\/a>. They just can\u2019t be fooled. <\/p>\n

Q: Santa<\/a>, this looks to be a tough Christmas<\/a> around the world.
\nA: Maybe so. But does that really matter? <\/p>\n

Q: What do you mean?
\nA: I assume you\u2019re talking about world economies? <\/p>\n

Q: Yes, of course. Millions are facing unemployment. Billions have been lost. The future looks very bleak. It is going to be a terrible Christmas<\/a> worldwide.
\nA: I don\u2019t agree with that at all. I think we could have the best Christmas<\/a> ever. <\/p>\n

Q: How can you say that?
\nA: Christmas<\/a> cannot be measured by nickels and dimes, Hugh. It doesn\u2019t come from a store, it isn\u2019t wrapped in a bow, it has nothing to do with stuff. <\/p>\n

Q: Santa<\/a>, Christmas<\/a> is most definitely measured. Economists are saying this could be the worst Christmas<\/a> since the 1930s.
\nA: And what do those economists say about the Cubs? <\/p>\n

Q: What? I don\u2019t understand.
\nA: My point is, what do economists really know about Christmas<\/a>? <\/p>\n

Q: Well, they seem to be universally saying that Christmas<\/a> is going to be tough for people. Folks won\u2019t be able to buy the things they want. Stores will be going out of business. Many won\u2019t be able to afford get presents, eat food or travel to loved ones. It is going to be a terrible Christmas<\/a>.
\nA: Economists might know a lot about money. But they know nothing of Christmas<\/a> and they may even know less than nothing about people. I tell you that hearts this Christmas<\/a> will be knit together more because of the economy. People will think more about others. They will get creative. Giving won\u2019t be big and fantastic but it will be more heartfelt. And when that happens people enjoy Christmas<\/a> more. I don\u2019t wish any thing bad on anyone. I hate the idea that the world will have a few less stores. But economies come and go, favorite toys come and go, even Santa<\/a> comes into and out of style, it seems. But Christmas<\/a> always happens, even when there is less to go around. Sometimes, less is more. <\/p>\n

Q: How much does the news reach you Santa<\/a>?
\nA: Oh, I stay very informed of world affairs. <\/p>\n

Q: So you know then about tornados and earthquakes? You know about wars and battles? You know about politics and elections?
\nA: Yes, of course. I have a whole staff of folks working in the North Pole<\/a> Public Relations Department who monitor breaking news for me. And I read a lot of papers, too. <\/p>\n

Q: Do you surf the Internet for news?
\nA: Yes, quite frequently. <\/p>\n

Q: Then you must have opinions about certain things.
\nA: Yes, of course. <\/p>\n

Q: So what then do you think about global warming? They say the polar ice caps are melting. I suppose you might know something about that.
\nA: Well, a little. I\u2019m a scientist as well as a toymaker and former priest. If you recall a year or two ago I was given the business about reindeer emissions. It was very upsetting. <\/p>\n

Q: Yes, I seem to recall something about that. Wasn\u2019t there a group trying to get you to find a way to deliver presents without using reindeer?
\nA: Yes, what a silly notion. Santa<\/a> without reindeer would be like Christmas<\/a> without Santa<\/a>. Very goofy. <\/p>\n

Q: What ever happened to that group, Santa<\/a>?
\nA: Well, they made a lot of noise right after Thanksgiving<\/a>, raised a bunch of money and then moved on to a new cause just before the new year. Turns out they were professional protesters. The funny thing was they all still expected a visit from Santa<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Q: Do you see the effects of global warming at the North Pole<\/a>?
\nA: You mean like having to take my surfboard with me to get to the sleigh? <\/p>\n

Q: Right. Is the ground mushy? Do you have more of a year round tan?
\nA: I\u2019m afraid to report that there hasn\u2019t been any change at the North Pole<\/a> at all. It\u2019s still cold, snowy and pretty much isolated except for us. <\/p>\n

Q: So are you saying global warming is a lie?
\nA: No, that\u2019s not what I\u2019m saying at all. I don\u2019t like to get into politics, Hugh. Hardly anything merry comes from it. <\/p>\n

Q: Santa<\/a>, it is an election year. Everyone is arguing.
\nA: So it seems. It is so sad. <\/p>\n

Q: Are you interested in the U.S. elections?
\nA: Yes, mildly. <\/p>\n

Q: Why?
\nA: Well, I want to know what to pack on the sleigh when I visit the White House next year. <\/p>\n

Q: So you don\u2019t really care who lives in the White House?
\nA: Nope. It is just another house. It will have nice people living in it and I will need to visit them. That is all that is important. <\/p>\n

Q: Has there ever been anyone in the White House you didn\u2019t like?
\nA: Nope. <\/p>\n

Q: Really? I find that hard to believe.
\nA: Well, it\u2019s true. Nobody in my history that I know of has ever been a bad person. People should think about that when they vote. <\/p>\n

Q: It is kind of hard to think of them that way within weeks of an election.
\nA: [laughs] I suppose so. But if they scheduled those elections for Christmas<\/a> Eve we\u2019d all likely have a bit more love<\/a> in our hearts when we vote, won\u2019t we? <\/p>\n

Q: You have an unusual way of seeing the world, Santa<\/a>. Do you think people might be afraid that you\u2019re out of touch? That you\u2019re na\u00efve? That you just don\u2019t understand the modern world?
\nA: What\u2019s to understand? You know, a man still puts his pants on the same way as he did two hundred years ago. The world and its people are not as modern as some think. <\/p>\n

Q: Santa<\/a>, despite these yearly interviews there is still a lot of doubt about you out there.
\nA: Yes, well, there are those who question whether or not man went to the moon, too. And they have photographic proof of that seen by billions of people worldwide on live television. What is your point? <\/p>\n

Q: You seem to defy logic to many.
\nA: Really, how so? <\/p>\n

Q: Well, getting around the world in one night. That\u2019s a big one.
\nA: And I have answered that question many times. <\/p>\n

Q: Yes, Santa<\/a>. I know you have. But it is still so unbelievable.
\nA: What do you want me to do about it? <\/p>\n

Q: What can we do about it? Show you on live TV on Christmas<\/a> Eve night? Put a camera in your sleigh? Have you interviewed while you are delivering your presents?
\nA: Oh, that\u2019s just silly. People will say that it is faked anyway. What is to be accomplished by following me around like that? It would take me twice as long to get around the world and some folks might miss Christmas<\/a> entirely if that happens. <\/p>\n

Q: What do you say to those who think the whole idea of Santa<\/a> Claus is a bad idea?
\nA: I say \u2018Merry Christmas\u2019. <\/p>\n

Q: That\u2019s it? No defense of yourself?
\nA: No. I don\u2019t have pollsters. I\u2019m not running for anything. I\u2019m just trying to help. <\/p>\n

Q: Does it discourage you, Santa<\/a>, to see declining belief in you and Christmas<\/a>?
\nA: Well, I don\u2019t see that. <\/p>\n

Q: Well, surely you must think the world is an uglier place than, say, fifty years ago?
\nA: In some ways, yes. But in other ways, no. And don\u2019t call me Shirley. <\/p>\n

Q: Ha! Have you always been a joker, Santa<\/a>?
\nA: I enjoy a good joke. I think laughing is important. Laughter is healthy, you need it like you need vegetables or chocolate or oxygen. <\/p>\n

Q: Have you heard any good jokes recently?
\nA: Well, yes, a lady came up to me the other day and said I looked like Helen Brown. <\/p>\n

Q: Ok, what\u2019s the joke?
\nA: Well, I told her I didn\u2019t look so good in green either. <\/p>\n

Q:. [laughs] Ha! Santa<\/a>, that\u2019s hilarious!
\nA: See? Makes you feel better doesn\u2019t it. <\/p>\n

Q: Everyone seems to feel better around Santa<\/a>.
\nA: Well, I think laughter is a good prescription for a Merry Christmas<\/a> in 2008. With wars, elections, bad economies and such you just gotta laugh to get through it all. <\/p>\n

Q: Is that your official advice for this year?
\nA: Yes, it is. Remember, we\u2019re supposed to \u201cmake\u201d merry — not buy it. It\u2019ll be alright. If you don\u2019t have money this year, celebrate by wrapping up something old and putting it under the tree. Try serving instead of giving. It will be a Merry Christmas<\/a> indeed. <\/p>\n

Q: But what about those losing their jobs? What do you say to them?
\nA: I say enjoy the time off with your families. It is an opportunity, not a problem. <\/p>\n

Q; What about those who are sick this Christmas<\/a>? How do you advise them?
\nA: I say allow love<\/a> to heal you. Angels are all around you. Don\u2019t dwell on your pain or your troubles. Pull out the calendar and count the days to Christmas<\/a>. Look forward. You\u2019ll feel better through the medicine of positive thinking. <\/p>\n

Q: What about the disgruntled — those who worry about the economy or their money? Those who don\u2019t have the elections go their way? Those worried about putting their kids through college, retiring or selling their homes? What do you tell those people?
\nA:. To them I say call your mother. <\/p>\n

Q: Huh?
\nA: Yes, call home. Talk to a parent or if your are able, a grandparent. They have been predicting the end of the world ever since the beginning of the world. Every generation has had a crisis of some sort to endure and over come. To put your troubles in perspective take a long look at the past and learn the lessons of overcoming adversity. You can do it. A good talk with Mom will convince you. <\/p>\n

Q: They shouldn\u2019t just call Santa<\/a>?
\nA: Well, they could write. I receive many letters each year from adults. It makes them feel better. <\/p>\n

Q: Do you ever answer letters from adults?
\nA: Oh yes, when I can. We\u2019re all kids, really. I cannot answer every letter, but I try to get to as many as I can. <\/p>\n

Q: Are there big plans for Christmas<\/a> this year in the Claus house?
\nA: Yes, of course. <\/p>\n

Q: Tell me about Christmas<\/a> at your house, Santa<\/a>.
\nA: Well, I usually get back on Christmas<\/a> morning. As you know, Mrs. Claus usually hops on the sleigh with me in Hawaii and she comes with me to deliver the last presents on the islands of the sea in the North Pacific and Alaska before heading home. There is usually a crowd there to meet us and they are usually very anxious because nobody at the North Pole<\/a> can open their presents until I get home. Most of the world has to wait for Santa<\/a> to leave to open presents but at the North Pole<\/a> they have to wait until Santa<\/a> gets back. <\/p>\n

Q: Then what, Santa<\/a>?
\nA: Well, we have a nice brunch and enjoy each other\u2019s company most of the day. We sometimes take a little nap in the afternoon but then get together again in the evening to enjoy each other. We sit around and talk. We watch the kids have their fun. It is a blissful day. <\/p>\n

Q: You sound so normal, Santa<\/a>.
\nA: I\u2019m just a regular guy, Hugh. I love<\/a> Christmas<\/a>, fast sleighs, and hoping for the Cubs. I am as normal as they come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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