Ok...I hope this lives up to the standards set by previous special posts.
***Special Season Post***
Here comes another Christmas season. As I sit and reflect on my life, I know one thing….I love Christmas! Now granted it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses for me. I’ve had my faith shaken numerous times. But even at my lowest, Christmas has softened the blows.
I cherish my memories of Christmas in my youth. Decorating the inside of the house, listening to Bing Crosby’s White Christmas on 8-track until the tape wore out and listening to Disney’s Adaptation of A Christmas Carol on LP while doing homework in my room. The smell of the furnace burning off the dust and the specials on TV (Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown, etc.) and that was just the lead up to Christmas Eve, which we spent with my mom’s side of the family. Five siblings and their dad, my grandfather, and all my cousins packing the house. The visit from Santa there with one toy then heading out to look at Christmas lights after we were done at the family get together. Christmas music playing on the radio while we looked at lights.
Then Christmas morning with just my mom, dad and brother. Opening presents all morning and then getting ready to go back over to my aunt and uncles for Christmas lunch. I have strong and fond memories of these Christmases. I held onto my child's belief in Santa for probably longer than any other person of my age, well into my teens. Mainly because I loved what he represented.
Then my father died when I was 17. That was one rough Christmas and my love of Christmas was squashed quite a bit. Christmas that year didn’t quite hold the magic that it had in the past. But looking back, it never truly went away.
Then I got married to someone who had a 14-month-old. I felt my love for Christmas and the magic come back to me, although not exactly the same as it had been. It had changed. My son was born a little over a year later and my world flipped on itself again, although in a much better way. More of the love and magic came back to me and my belief in Santa that I hold to this day was also born. My traditions changed though, because there was another family to think of. So instead of going to my aunts and uncles, Christmas Eve was spend with my then wife’s family and Christmas Day with my mom and brother.
I missed the old traditions, but I had a family now and had 15 Christmases until life threw me a curveball again. I separated and eventually divorced my then wife and my Christmas was thrown out of whack again. Even still, it was still there, like an old friend that never lets you down. And while I was searching to gain the old feelings I had, I met my wife now. She has two children and with my 3 kids, we had a houseful again. But with a blended family, things change again and I didn’t have my children for half of the Christmas holidays. I felt empty inside without my children.
But, as time went on, Christmas was always there to cheer me up. Only this time, I threw myself into a website I had found in 2006, but never really fully committed myself to until about 8-9 years later. That would be MyMerryChristmas. Santa Update was also a staple for me with my kids and is what helped keep my faith alive through that rough time. Tracking Santa with my kids filled part of the void I had from my traditions changing.
I was able to grasp some of the old nostalgia of Christmases past when my wife and I started going to my sister‘s on Christmas Eve. She has a houseful on that night that is reminiscent of going to my aunts and uncles house. My heart swelled with this and made not having my children on Christmas Day bearable. (Granted, this whole time my wife has also been there for me, trying to do all she can to create new traditions to fill the void the curveballs of life had created. She is very instrumental in making my love and belief in Christmas what it is today.) But I also realized that I was trying too hard to bring the past back and almost missed out on what was right in front of me.
Now my life has come full circle as I have a grandchild of my own that I get to help create memories and traditions of Christmas with. My son and daughter are with me a lot more now by their own choosing. The void I had is now completely gone. My love and belief in Christmas is overflowing and I cannot wait to fill my granddaughter up with that love and belief. I will be introducing her to tracking Santa (my son now has the love I have for Christmas and has joined the forums, although he is just lurking at the moment.) I believe that he will be tracking Santa with his daughter like I used to do with him, his brother and sister.
I now have my new traditions with my wife, my children, her children, my sister and her family and now my soon to be daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I would have missed out on the joy and love of Christmas with them if I continued my obsession with the past. I now make it a point to be in the now and enjoy every minute of it. Which being on these forums and Tracking Santa for SantaUpdate.com is a big part of the now that I love.
It’s amazing to me how that now matter what happened in life, how rough it gets, Christmas is there with it’s arms wide open, saying “Come here. I’m waiting for you with open arms, no matter how far you stray.” Just like God says, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
As we wait for the season to arrive and anticipate the love and feelings that the Christmas season brings, let‘s not be in too much of a hurry to do Christmas like we always did. We can lose ourselves trying to bring the past back instead of just honoring it in our memories. So just let Christmas and God create what they will for us. Just sit back, enjoy the ride and if new things/traditions come up, just let them happen and enjoy being in the moment. Christmas will always be there for us, like an old friend.
Hello, old friend, it’s great to see you again!
Hope everyone enjoys a great day ahead!
