The Tender Christmas Moments of Die Hard

Die Hard may be the most emotionally draining Christmas movie of all time.

It has all the anguish of Scrooge, the violent moodiness of George Bailey, the contemptible bullying of Rudolph and the light-hearted bluster of Clark Griswold.

Imagine. All of that in one movie.

These elements are what make it a perennial must-see of every holiday season.

For nearly 40 years I’ve watched it. Sometimes in the dead heat of July I’ll pull the shades down, crank up the A/C and put it on. Sometimes you just need a good Christmas movie.

It is a master of film manipulation. The soundtrack is part of that manipulation. It hits you with Jingle Bells, Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!, Winter Wonderland and even Ode to Joy. Who wraps a run-of-the-mill shoot-em-up-action-thriller in Christmas music?

But it’s a Christmas movie, what do you expect?

It can be hard to watch at times. The world has changed from what it was back then.

The opening scene shows John McClane fighting the holiday crowds to board a plane. He’s one of them. Hugging that brightly bowed teddy bear for his kid. Looking forward to a reunion of family for Christmas. I have tears already.

But poor John has no idea the Christmas that lies ahead for him.

Even though he’s headed to LA – where the sun shines and people golf at Christmas – he is surrounded by holiday cheer. It is in the music, the decorations, the vibe. It’s everywhere.

John is trying to reconcile with his wife. Hey, it’s Christmas. That’s what you do. They have kids for crying out loud and, dang, she seems to be in the holiday spirit.

So from the airport he grabs an LA-style limo to Nakatomi Plaza. (Nakatomi. That’s Japanese for “Merry Christmas”. Bet you didn’t know that).

He’s picked up by a driver named Argyle (as in socks, or, more formally, stockings. Subtle, but it’s still Christmas). McClane asks if Argyle has any Christmas music, and Argyle fires back with a grin. He says, “This IS Christmas music!” while blasting Run‑DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” from the stereo. (Christmas music that released just for this Christmas movie. Hollywood. Pfffft).

Nakatomi is where John’s wife, Holly, works.

Holly. Nevermind. You get it. Christmas is just everywhere in the flick. Onward. She’s at the – wait for it – company Christmas party. (It’s endless).

Things haven’t been going well for them. Just as they both work on opposite coasts their marriage has become split far apart. Both are hoping a good Christmas together can begin the healing.

John wants to freshen up before he sees her. As he changes his clothes and removes his socks he has no idea that the Grinch – in the form of Hans Gruber and his henchmen – have taken over Nakatomi Plaza and the corporate Christmas party, taking every employee, including Holly, hostage. How merry.

It will take the barefoot John McClane to save Holly – and Christmas. But he’s going to have to go through some sh–, um, stuff.

The bad guys, it seems, are in the holiday spirit as well.

One of them, named Theo, is dressed in a heavy white sweater. Very festive. He’s the tech brain of the outfit and he is tasked with overtaking the security system in the building.

He does so quickly, fooling the cops who are shown on a monitor heading towards the building. Theo can’t help it. “’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring — except the four a******* coming in the rear in standard two‑by‑two cover formation.”

Quite nearly as Clement Moore wrote it, eh?

McClane assesses the situation almost immediately. He very quickly disarms Tony and unalives him, taking his weapon in the process. McClane sends a message to the terrorists by leaving Tony’s body in a chair, dressed in a Santa hat, with the words “Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho.” scrawled across his sweatshirt.

We’re only 15 minutes into the film and it is quite literally bleeding Christmas. It’s got me in the mood for cookies and milk and candy canes and eggnog. All the feels.

McClane tries his best to get the attention of local authorities. Sergeant Al Powell, a kind of Ghost-of-Christmas Present, shows up to investigate the false alarm at Nakatomi. McClane can’t get his attention until he literally drops a body on the hood of his car. This might seem a rough start to their relationship. But Al Powell more of less begs John McClane to “Come in, and know me better, man!”.

Can McClane overcome being outnumbered by foreign speaking thieves to save Christmas and reunite with Holly?

He’s like George Bailey on the bridge, Scrooge at the grave, and Clark Griswold ripping the Christmas tree out by its roots with his bare hands. We’ve seen all this before.

For more than 40 years Die Hard has been a Christmas rerun. Declaring it NOT a Christmas movie, as some are wont to do, does not make it so. Millions watch this as a Christmas movie – a feel-good Christmas movie no less – every Christmas.

Deal with it.

Saying it’s not a Christmas movie is like saying White Christmas isn’t a war movie. Or that Home Alone isn’t a movie of parental neglect. Or, that The Bishop’s Wife isn’t all angel lust. Or, that Christmas Vacation isn’t a tale about dysfunctional families.

Christmas movies are complex. Just because you can’t see the subtle Christmas vibes of Die Hard doesn’t mean its not a Christmas movie. It just means you suck at Christmas culture.

Are there so-called Christmas movies that aren’t really Christmas movies?

Of course there are.

Elf, for example, is not a Christmas movie. Yeah, Buddy is an elf and he works for Santa. And yeah, it’s set at the North Pole. And yeah, it’s a movie full of fun Christmas references. But at the end of the day its just a story of a deviant character charade of a kid in a world he doesn’t belong in. That’s only Christmas in the sense that artificial Christmas trees are real trees. At the end of the day it still smells like plastic.

That is the very reason why Die Hard shines for it’s tender moments of Christmas. It’s all heart.

It’s John and Holly realizing they really do love each other. It’s Al saving John at the end of the film while overcoming his fear of shooting bad guys just because he had to kill a bad kid during a cop action in his first year as a cop. That’s overcoming. Like Scrooge, that’s redemption. It’s Christmas, man.

Yippee-ki-yay.