Stop Whining About Christmas

If there is a part of Christmas I cannot stand it is the complaints. It starts in September when people get on their soapbox about “Christmas creep” just because they see trees and lights for sale at Costco. It culminates in November when Nordstrom’s puts up their snotty sign declaring “We celebrate one holiday at a time“.

Over on a blog called GeekDad.com Scrooge wants to start a campaign called #NoEarlyXmas. In fist-clenched frustration the guy-with-nothing-else-to-get-his-geek-knickers-in-a-wad-about complains:

This isn’t about religion – no “war on Christmas” pro/con. It’s just about putting the holiday back where it’s supposed to be: something we start planning for sometime in November, yet which really doesn’t kick into high gear until after Thanksgiving. But how do we achieve it?

This guy must be 17 years old. Being a geek, it is guaranteed he doesn’t get out much. I mean — really?

With Isis chopping off heads in Iraq, with 93 million Americans out of work, with kids hating their school lunches, with the IRS hiding evidence from Congress, with Robin Williams dead and everything about the Dallas Cowboys it’s this — Christmas in Costco, Geek Dad? — that’s chapping your thighs?

But Geek Dad not alone this fine late summer day complaining about seeing Christmas at Costco.

Here’s a headline complaining about supermarkets in Ireland selling mince pies. And another about a UK grocer selling Christmas cards.

And be sure to check out the whacked out absurdity at DefendChristmas.com over the whole Kmart early Christmas commercial flap.

Here’s a news flash to whiners of Christmas: get over it.

First of all, this isn’t a save-society-from-ruin kind of thing. Slate.com had an awesome article last year when the chorus of Christmas complainers reached it’s peak pointing out that Christmas in stores has a history dating back a century or more. Somehow society and culture have endured. Complaining about this now is senseless.

Why senseless?

Christmas is on sale. That’s it.

Go ahead, Geek Dad. Lay off your hashtag long enough to take a drive around your neighborhood. Yeah, right there in the Bay Area.

Tell me how many Christmas lights you see. Talk to me about the plethora of Santas, snowmen and Rudolphs displayed on lawns by your neighbors. Just how many carolers have you chased off your porch? How bad is it really there in geekdom?

You see, Christmas doesn’t come from a store.

Look up a little video called How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. I’m sure Youtube has it so even a geek like you can access it.

Just because stores are selling Christmas stuff doesn’t mean society and culture has taken a step back and is actually — gasp! — celebrating Christmas right now. Oh the humanity!

Still don’t like it? Okay. That’s fine. Then don’t buy it. And by all means, stay out of Costco.

But be a little more broad in your assessment of Christmas creep. Where were you, Geek Dad, when Christmas in July was going strong less than 6 weeks ago? Did it bother you that every shopping channel had a “Christmas Showcase”? Did it get your dander up that the Hallmark channel was running Christmas movies? Where was your hashtag then? Were you too busy watching pre-season football to even notice?

What about a couple of weeks ago when Radio City Music Hall shut down traffic in New York City to parade out Santa Claus with the Rockettes? That had to put you on oxygen, for sure.

But I have deeper questions for you, Geek Dad. Probing questions.

Where were you when Macy’s put summer swimwear up for sale last January? And why didn’t you take to blogs and hashtags to condemn Valentine’s candy hearts on New Years Eve? Why is it that nobody ever complains that back-to-school stuff is sold next to the fireworks? And tell me why all of our social ills are defined in Costco again?

Just what is so awful about seeing Santa in September? Tell me what a bad role model he is. Tell me why he annoys you. Obviously he suffers from over exposure unlike Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus or Kanye West — pure bastions of societal purity, fine examples of restraint, thrift, industry, honesty and integrity. Why would we ever want a guy like that paraded about one third of the year?

You wanna know what your problem is? You miss your Mommy. You need to suckle at the breast of human awareness and wear the diapers of get-a-clue. There are bigger problems than #NoEarlyXmas.

There’s only one cure for this: grab some Dickens, chug some eggnog (straight from the carton) and write a letter to Santa. Do it now, even though it is only September. There may be hope for you yet. #BringOnChristmas