I need some help/advise/reassurance/guideance here from a situation that my family has decided to get involved in; it's about taking in another teenager.
This may a little long here, but I will try to do my best to get to the points.
The beginning:
I met this kid 6 years ago (his name is Austin) from the rest of the kids in the neighborhood that constantly/ always hung out at my house. I never liked him at first because he was smart mouthed, always stirring up trouble in the neighborhood and with other kids (stirring the pot), etc... and he was disrespectful to other adults.
About 4 years ago, he mouthed off to me outside of the house one day and so I gave him the boot off the property and told hime he was banned until apologized and showed some respect; (I directed my kids to stay away from him as well).
The Middle years:
So, for 2 years, he was not around, but as a board member of my HOA, I kept tabs on him, (if there was a problem in the neighborhood) because of his past behavior. During that time I noticed a change over him, he got quiet, and stayed low keyed, stayed close to his own neighborhood, (apparently, he got a steady girlfriend) and the girls parents are know to be very strick with her. Well, they sort of gave him some guideance over those years (as I was told) and I noticed a major change in him.
A year ago:
About a year ago, my son approached me and told me that Austin was outside the house at the end of the driveway and he wanted to talk to me and apologize to me. I told my son to tell him that I needed to think about it. A couple of months went past, I was working out back and my son came to me again and told me that Austin wanted to talk to me, I said ok. I went to the front porch and we talked for an hour, he apologized, said that he has changed for the better and he would really work hard to earn my trust back again... I was, impressed with his sincerity!
Now:
Over the past year, he slowly started coming over the house to visit and hang out with the other kids (NOTE: Since we have lived here, we have been adopted by every kid in the neighborhood, Perry Hall, Baltimore County... Well, at times it seems like it, lol - we have always held this belief that if we let them stay here, then we know where they are, who their with and what their doing.... plus help to keep all of them on a straight path), and he had earned his trust back after time. Now, during all of the years since we known him, we did not know much about his family, past or troubles...
He joined the Army on a delayed entry and was scheduled to go in around September, a month prior to this, he was told to leave his house, get out, pack your stuff and leave by his stepfather and mother, (apparently, he couldn't get along with the stepfather and the stepfather with him). So we let him stay with us (I couldn't see the boy living on the streets), he slept on the couch in the basement and we charged him nothing. He left for the Army as scheduled, but injured his ankle during basic training and the Army discharged him (a general discharge).
He told my son that he was going to ask to stay with this one and then that one, (just bounce around), we know he had a troubled past and knew that could be dangerous so we told him he can stay with us on a temporary basis. Now he is with us, sleeping in my sons room in a sleeping bag. I became frustrated with the apparent lack of information from his family so I went up there (unannounced) and talked with them for 4 hours. Wow, I left just completely blown away with all the information I had.
Apparently, Austin was an abused child (verbally and physically) and so was his mother, by the ex husband as well as she was as a child as well by her own father...Yikes...from talking with the mother, there is alot of pain there all the way around! The stepfather - seems like a nice guy, firm, quiet but yet strict; he fully accepted her two children when he married the mother, but one child never accepted him, for 5 years; Austin.. hence, there lies one problem!
So, here we are now, sort of stuck with this 18 year old kid in my house, the mother and stepfather are writing a contact for Austin to sign in order for him to return back to their house, but they told me that it is only for 7 month and then after that he has to leave again...WHAT??? and get this, he has to pay for his own food, have strict hours when he can take a shower, has to stay in certain portions of the house only, and it gets worse.... worse that bootcamp or a prison! I mean even if he goes back home, I can guarentee that if there is one problem, boom - he's out of the house again, and where is he going to go???? My house! I like the kid, but am in no means prepaired to have a permanent boarder in my home forever.
He loves us to death, he's best friends with both my daughter and son and the rest of their friends. he told us that after 6 months he wants to try to go back in the military again, after his ankle heals properlly. I'm at a moral crossroads here and I don't want a permanent boarder and yet I don't want to see the boy on the streets. He's cleancut, no tatoos, no body pericings, says yes mam/ no sir, etc.... I don't know what to do!
Thanks~