Top 10 Things Never to Say on Santa’s Lap

10. Well, I guess it depends on your definition of naughty.

9. The doctor says it’s not that contagious.

8. I have a really good recipe for reindeer meat.

7. Sorry. I’m pretty nervous. Next time I won’t drink so much water before I come.

6. You can’t believe everything Mommy says, you know.

5. Red’s not really your color, is it?

4. You know, cookies and milk are really high in cholesterol.

3. I don’t think my chimney is, you know, for the big and tall.

2. Being good? You were serious about that?

1. Say — can I get a couple elves to come on over for a good foot rub?