Top 10 Things Santa Does to Pass the Offseason

10. Travels the world with a reindeer pooper-scooper.

9. Thinks up 12 more days of Christmas.

8. Writes new Christmas top ten lists.

7. Drops watermelons from the top of David Letterman’s house.

6. Takes pictures on the Easter Bunny’s lap.

5. Walks the malls muttering “Where’s my chair?”

4. Sends clever audition videos trying to get on “Survivor”

3. Elf bowling (you figure it out)

2. Tries to understand the difference between “wrap” and “rap”

1. Roams parking lots asking police “Have you seen my sleigh?”