Christmas FoodsHoliday Humor

Top Ten Alternative Uses for Fruitcake

1. Bury them in the back yard for future archaeologists to discover.

2. Give them to your son for a science project

3. Hang on to it to find out if there REALLY is more than one Fruitcake that’s making it’s rounds every year.

4. Use it to hold up a broken table or chair leg.

5. Mash them down and use for mortar when building a log cabin.

6. Use as exercise stepping block for step aerobics.

7. Makes a wonderful dessert for Road Kill Cafe fare.

8. Use them to pave the freeways with. Just place them on the road and run a steamroller over them.

9. Use them as fillers to repair the river levees with! They last indefinitely and are so dense, water can never penetrate them.

10. Last and probably least – try eating it! One way to get rid of it!

Father of 7, Grandfather of 7, husband of 1. Freelance writer, Major League baseball geek, aspiring Family Historian.
  • N
  • January 19, 2016
My grandma made these years ago with my aunt. Always made on the weekend following July 4th. and placed in a closet/cupboard kind of ordeal. They were given shots of whiskey almost religiously every Sunday evening until Christmas time. Cant say that I ever remember anyone eatting them. Lets face it..they are pretty,and do cost a fortune to make nowadays, but they taste horrid. I try every one I have ever received just in case I find one that tastes good...... I have one coated in Polyurethane and it is a Christmas display now...funny they never seem to spoil or rot/mold

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