Christmas Countdown - 2013

[kizzy]

Yay!! It's creeping up isn't it!!

 

[sugar142286]

We are getting ready to head out, I will see you all later this week.


Have a great week.

See ya! Enjoy and have a safe trip!

 

[Christmasstar]

Just wanted to show you the new high school in my town. I went to Cramerton High, named after the Cramer family. Now they have built a new one. Take a look at the photo gallery. You will be AMAZED. The new high school is bigger than Biltmore House and it is also bigger than the White House!

http://www.gastongazette.com/what-you-ll-see-at-the-new-stuart-w-cramer-high-1.188717

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biltmore_Estate

wow, if you had not told me it was a high school I would have thought it was a university.

 

[snowflake22]

Yay!! It's creeping up isn't it!!

Hey Kizzy, are a lot of your customers shopping for Christmas gifts?

xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[sugar142286]

Good afternoon, everyone! Enjoying this cooler weather. Soup is in the crockpot, baked apple candle going, and DS is still napping.

 

[Seawaters]

Good afternoon, everyone! Not enjoying the 100 plus degrees hot weather. No soup in the crockpot, no candles, and DH is still napping, LOL!!!

Good afternoon, everyone! Enjoying this cooler weather. Soup is in the crockpot, baked apple candle going, and DS is still napping.

 

[Christmasstar]

good...what time is it anyway?

 

[Christmasstar]

I know!

 

[sugar142286]

Good afternoon, everyone! Not enjoying the 100 plus degrees hot weather. No soup in the crockpot, no candles, and DH is still napping, LOL!!!

:lol:

 

[xmastidings]

Morning folks! In the past here I've tried very hard to be here and be apart of the conversation but lately, I've just haven't felt much like being very chatty. Actually, I've been pretty sad and depressed for the past few weeks and It's really tearing me apart on the inside and my family on the outside.

My son (20) moved out the other week against my wifes and my wishes, to move in with his girlfriend of 6 months (21/22). It didn't go over very well and I am really struggling with this. I have always raised my kids to be close to us and to stay with us for a long while, untill they were stable in life. He's not, he gets 10 cents in his pocket and he wants to spend it...

His girlfriend is a spoiled little daddys girl (that my wife, my in-laws and I, do not like at all) and on top of it, her daddy buys her everthing she wants (he's a retired Lawyer and had his own law firm) and right now my son is living there at her townhouse for free, on his dime, sponging off of him and I'm peeved, beyond all means about this whole thing.

I love him still, I am upset at him, I want him back home, I loathe his girlfriend, but yet I'm not supposed to push him further away by lashing out for his actions....My wife keeps telling me to back off and it will play itself out but I haven't. I just don't want to let go and I am starting to drive her and my daughter bonkers with this whole thing, because I want to also punish him for hurting and not listening to us. Am I wrong for feeling that way????

I don't know really how to process all of this and I need some advice; I feel like a part of me has been torn away... :sad: Thanks~

Thinking of you, friend. That's a tough one. Your son knows how you feel, right? If you've said your peace, I would just be there for him, at a distance. Hopefully he sees what you see sooner rather than later, and learns from it. I wish I had better advice. Sorry this is so hard on you. Sending you lots of support & strength!!

((Hugs))


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

unfortunately this happens to a lot of families, my parents went through it with my brother. Never easy solutions.
I asked mom and she says to get support as soon as possible and do not blame yourself. They also went through all these feelings but it was the support of others that saw them through it. (my brother was on drugs, ran away from home at age 17, lived with his now wife, stole cars etc.)
She suggests this website for some great advice
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/par...nges/teen_rebellion/loving_your_prodigal.aspx
(((((HUGS)))))
By the way, He has now been married for 35 years, they have 4 kids and 7 grand children and he has driven truck for 30 of those years owning his own rig.

Praying for you. My brother in law went through a similar time when he made very poor decisions against his parents wishes, and yes it was over a girl. So many times the poor choices we make as guys involve a girl...not saying its the girl's fault but saying we don't always use our brains!

Anyway, his parents made how they felt known but continued to be there for him if he needed them. Of course the relationship with the girl fell apart, he was embarrassed but the important thing is he knew where home was to come back to those who truly love him. Today he is married to a wonderful lady and has a precious son and is a leader in his church!

My advice for what it's worth is to pray, show him unconditional love but stick to your values and in the end, the lessons and love you show him will win. Praying for you all!

No you are not wrong for feeling that way, I agree with your wife though. You have raised him the best you could but he is his own man now. You have to let him make his own decisions and let him learn from his own actions.

My sister ran away when she turned 18 to be with her boyfriend because my mom tried to forbid her from seeing him. It tore our family apart for years because of things that were said and done. It happened again to certain extent when my other sister decided that she was going to move to seattle with her boyfriend that none of us liked.

I don't want to see you have to go through all of that. So like Ryan said, make sure he knows how you feel but continue to be there for him. I know you may be mad be don't do something that will push him away. You will regret that even more in the long run.

Praying for you.

That's a tough spot to be in. I did something similar in my youth, and I'm still ashamed of myself. I wasn't living off of her dad, but I married the wrong girl waaay before I was mature enough to recognize that she was the wrong girl. My parents tried to help me see it, but I was determined. Lesson learned, but it was a difficult couple of years for my family, and, for me, a difficult realization that she wasn't what I thought she was. Thank the Lord for Nancy!

Unless he's in a dangerous situation, I don't think you'll be able to do anything to convince him. I know I didn't want to hear any of it at the time. Just make sure he knows you guys love him and want the best for him.

Good luck, my friend.

I started to write a novel on a certain disfunctional family I am very close to, but it's best not to air dirty laundry over the internet!

Here's what I would suggest: love him, pray for him, don't nag him, but don't let him come back home when/if it doesn't work out. I know we all needed help starting out, but I think tough love would go a long way too for the person's maturing process.
Bless.

I'm not qualified to speak on this (not having children), but here's what I think. Eventually his actions with have their own consequences (and therefore their own punishments), but it looks like he will have to learn that the hard way. Try to let it go and make sure he knows he can come back to you if and when it all blows up. It's so hard to be in a situation you can't resolve, but yet have to bear the frustration.



Wish you much success, Ryan. In time you may enjoy the new workplace and people as much as the old one.

You are not wrong for feeling the way you do! Raising kids sure isn't easy. I think letting them make their own choices and mistakes is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. We naturally want to protect them. But one of the best things we can do is step back and let them experience the consequences of their own actions. I know that is easier said than done. Try and keep a postitive attitude. Invite him home for family dinners. Let him know he can call you anytime. I will be praying for you and your family.

Xmas Tidings, please PM me. If you can, copy and paste this message in your PM. Praying for you and your family. I know it is hard.

Focus on the Family is a wonderful place to start. There is also a song that I used to sing a lot (by myself in the car or the shower) called "Turn Your Heart Toward Home." The words will really touch your heart and the music is haunting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNvafd0FzGc

I know this must be hard for you. I moved out of my home when I was 19, with my boyfriend at the time, but we were together for 2 years and had known each other for 3 years before that. We got engaged shortly after that and he's currently who I'm married to. We both had stable jobs and I was in college for my nursing degree as well. We got married when we were 22 and built our house a year later. Our parents both supported it, as my DH had to move out, to where his job was, for his job, and I would only 5 minutes or school from my college campus.

I can understand where you're coming from, being the fact they have been together such a short time and he isn't making any money for himself. I know as a parent, you want your children to excel and make it on their own, but you also want to make their own decisions. Being the fact he is an adult, you may just have to let him make his own decision and at this time and see where it takes him. If it is going to end bad, it will have been his decision. I hope this helps.

Keep coming back here - we'll keep you cheered up.

You and your family are in my prayers, xmastidings.

I am so sorry to read that your are going through such a difficult time. The others have provided some wonderful advice and support. I also agree with them that it is important to continue being there for your son so he knows he can return to you after this all fizzles away.

I understand that this will be very difficult to do. All we want to do is protect our children from the time they are born. But Sometimes the best we can do is find the courage to let go and let them make their own future. Unfortunatley their path may include a few mistakes......but it may be necessary for them to go through these in order to arrive at their final destiny. I once read somewhere '' Life can only be understood backwards.'' we often don't understand current situations or see our mistakes until after. One day your son and you will reflect on this experience and perhaps understand why these series of events had to happen. Until then take comfort in knowing that you have raised your son well and remember xmastidings ''this too shall pass''..........

Praying for you and your family my friend. Don't lose faith and courage.

If you ever need a soundboard, I'm a good listener just PM me.

xx

Thank you my friends for all of the advice and for sharing your experiences with me/us. I truly needed all of this because I was lost in what to do and I had no more answers.

I have been dwelling on the fact that I have spent so long as a parent molding them, teaching thru example, guiding them and helping for them to prepare for the future. For me to be able to do nothing in stopping my son from making one of the biggest mistakes in his life has been eating me up alive on the inside. I have been so upset about this, I was afraid of the stress was going to cause me to have an heart attack or loose my wife.

I need to be supporting her and here I am reacting more to this than she is and I am causing her more stress than what she's already going thru. Awww man, this just plain outright stinks, and I can do nothing about it. If I would to retaliate, it would only make matters worse and I do not want to do that. There is this constant battle going on inside me about what to do and so, I'm going to face reality instead in stead of fighting it, and finially let go.....

I know, it's out of my hands now and it's sad, so sad to loose the little boy that always slept with his Teddy Bear..... I needed to talk to someone and luckily, I had all of you, and all of your experiences. I needed your support on this and I found it; Thank You!

I have saved your advice and comments, so that I can read and re-read them, so that I have somewhere to turn to when the depression sets in again.....

 

[sugar142286]

Thank you my friends for all of the advice and for sharing your experiences with me/us. I truly needed all of this because I was lost in what to do and I had no more answers.

I have been dwelling on the fact that I have spent so long as a parent molding them, teaching thru example, guiding them and helping for them to prepare for the future. For me to be able to do nothing in stopping my son from making one of the biggest mistakes in his life has been eating me up alive on the inside. I have been so upset about this, I was afraid of the stress was going to cause me to have an heart attack or loose my wife.

I need to be supporting her and here I am reacting more to this than she is and I am causing her more stress than what she's already going thru. Awww man, this just plain outright stinks, and I can do nothing about it. If I would to retaliate, it would only make matters worse and I do not want to do that. There is this constant battle going on inside me about what to do and so, I'm going to face reality instead in stead of fighting it, and finially let go.....

I know, it's out of my hands now and it's sad, so sad to loose the little boy that always slept with his Teddy Bear..... I needed to talk to someone and luckily, I had all of you, and all of your experiences. I needed your support on this and I found it; Thank You!

I have saved your advice and comments, so that I can read and re-read them, so that I have somewhere to turn to when the depression sets in again.....

We're all always here for you if you need anything. You can always PM me as well! I'm so glad we were able to help.

 

[Ryan]

Good morning, Ryan. How was OKC? We normally drive through there on our way to NC--Interstate 40/Route 66!

It was good. We live in Moore, which borders OKC so we're right there. Let me know if y'all ever stop in town!

 

[Ryan]

We're here any time you need us and I will keep praying for you and your family!

Thank you my friends for all of the advice and for sharing your experiences with me/us. I truly needed all of this because I was lost in what to do and I had no more answers.

I have been dwelling on the fact that I have spent so long as a parent molding them, teaching thru example, guiding them and helping for them to prepare for the future. For me to be able to do nothing in stopping my son from making one of the biggest mistakes in his life has been eating me up alive on the inside. I have been so upset about this, I was afraid of the stress was going to cause me to have an heart attack or loose my wife.

I need to be supporting her and here I am reacting more to this than she is and I am causing her more stress than what she's already going thru. Awww man, this just plain outright stinks, and I can do nothing about it. If I would to retaliate, it would only make matters worse and I do not want to do that. There is this constant battle going on inside me about what to do and so, I'm going to face reality instead in stead of fighting it, and finially let go.....

I know, it's out of my hands now and it's sad, so sad to loose the little boy that always slept with his Teddy Bear..... I needed to talk to someone and luckily, I had all of you, and all of your experiences. I needed your support on this and I found it; Thank You!

I have saved your advice and comments, so that I can read and re-read them, so that I have somewhere to turn to when the depression sets in again.....

 

[Ryan]

We are getting ready to head out, I will see you all later this week.


Have a great week.

Praying for y'all to have a safe and fun trip!

 

[Christmasstar]

Thank you my friends for all of the advice and for sharing your experiences with me/us. I truly needed all of this because I was lost in what to do and I had no more answers.

I have been dwelling on the fact that I have spent so long as a parent molding them, teaching thru example, guiding them and helping for them to prepare for the future. For me to be able to do nothing in stopping my son from making one of the biggest mistakes in his life has been eating me up alive on the inside. I have been so upset about this, I was afraid of the stress was going to cause me to have an heart attack or loose my wife.

I need to be supporting her and here I am reacting more to this than she is and I am causing her more stress than what she's already going thru. Awww man, this just plain outright stinks, and I can do nothing about it. If I would to retaliate, it would only make matters worse and I do not want to do that. There is this constant battle going on inside me about what to do and so, I'm going to face reality instead in stead of fighting it, and finially let go.....

I know, it's out of my hands now and it's sad, so sad to loose the little boy that always slept with his Teddy Bear..... I needed to talk to someone and luckily, I had all of you, and all of your experiences. I needed your support on this and I found it; Thank You!

I have saved your advice and comments, so that I can read and re-read them, so that I have somewhere to turn to when the depression sets in again.....

((((HUGS))))
You have not lost him, he needs your love more than ever. But for now you have to let him go until he is ready to once again accept that.
Keep a journal and write him letters from time to time sharing your heart. Later you might give them to him or keep them private, but either way it is a good outlet for your feelings.
I continue to hold your whole family in my prayers.

 

[made582]

I have saved your advice and comments, so that I can read and re-read them, so that I have somewhere to turn to when the depression sets in again.....

We are always here for you for when ever you need some one to listen. You can PM me anytime too.


I second Star's idea of starting a journal. Writing has really helped me. I don't share a lot of it with anyone but just writing it down, helps keep those emotions from boiling over.

 

[sugar142286]

((((HUGS))))
You have not lost him, he needs your love more than ever. But for now you have to let him go until he is ready to once again accept that.
Keep a journal and write him letters from time to time sharing your heart. Later you might give them to him or keep them private, but either way it is a good outlet for your feelings.
I continue to hold your whole family in my prayers.

What a great idea, Star.

 

[Meceka]

For some reason, I have just not felt all that great today. I am going to rest for a while and watch TV with Hubby. Goodnight, MMC friends.

I hope you are feeling better today, Seawaters! Take care, my friend! {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Seawaters]

I definitely will!

It was good. We live in Moore, which borders OKC so we're right there. Let me know if y'all ever stop in town!

 

[Meceka]

View attachment 2022

Isnt this awesome!

Adorable!