Christmas Countdown - 2016

[snowflake22]

I know this method is yucky but we need to guarantee they get the meds so when all else fails I use the method at approx 57secs into this video . Do it quickly and smoothly and there is no stress for either of you.

Thanks, Virginia! I actually watched that video earlier tonight. Tried it, she was already worked up though & was struggling so much that I couldn't make it happen
Will keep trying!

 

[Edge612]

Yep, she's eating. She just isn't food motivated, I can put steak down & she could care less. It's crazy.

Yeah. A dog not being motivated by food is rare. I know that is crazy. I hope the Dr. gives you some ideas/answers on Monday!

 

[Edge612]

And speaking of food...I just ate too much of it tonight lol. Oops. Think that's the first time I really overate since Christmas Day.

 

[snowflake22]

Yeah. A dog not being motivated by food is rare. I know that is crazy. I hope the Dr. gives you some ideas/answers on Monday!

Thanks, friend!

 

[xmas365]

I know that my friends here over the years here, have been wondering where I have been. Well, I sort of had to take a leave of absence from here, to spare all of you from my internal torment/ hell that I have been going through, because I had Christmas and my Christmas spirt, forcibly removed from my heart and soul this past Christmas....

I have stayed in touch privately with a few, very personal friends here, that have been trying to help me (in ways) to find a logic, a reason, to try to help me to find me again, to help me hold onto my hopes, my dreams, my beliefs and my faith. For you see, I was blind sided, the day after Thanksgiving, (without any warnings) with my wife of 23+ years of leaving me and my (2) adult children (ages 21 & 23; that live with me at home here) forever. My world had been turned completely upside down in about the same time as a flash of lightening. I came home from work to a note on the kitchen counter, informing me that she had left us and most likely will never come back.

I have been in hell since that day. My Christmas, my Christmas season, my beliefs, my life was thrown in the trash can that day. I have been in vain, ever since that day, of respecting my wife's wishes by not bothering her, trying to communicate with her, per her wishes and orders, I had left her alone so that she could think and not feel pressured by me or anyone else, etc... I have been taking care of our home, property, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, kids, work, life, etc... all by myself, doing everything by myself. It has not been easy, but I have been doing it and managing it very well for, well, a man....

My wife, is a recovering alcoholic. My children and I have spent the last 5-6 years of trying to get her sober and to help save her life. At one point, she was drinking a fifth of Captain Morgan's spiced rum every single night. It was a nightmare, but I stayed with her, helped her and with my love for her and my faith in god and our marriage together, after 5-6 years we did it. She has been sober for two (2) years now, so at least I think.....

I have never, ever, ever, strayed from her, never have kissed another woman in passion, never verbally or physically abused her or my children. I always respected her wishes, instructions and did as she asked of me to do. I do not drink alcohol, don't smoke, don't do drugs, I believe in god, I come home every night from work to my family, I do not go to bars, nightclubs, etc...I gave my paycheck completely to my wife every payday to pay bills, buy groceries, things, etc.... I have tried in vain, to live and to be a good man, good husband and a good father... And look what it got me in the end, heartbreak......

I have been lost, living a life of purgatory for about 10 weeks now, trying so hard, every day, every night, praying, hoping, trying and also with the help of a marriage counselor to find a path, a way to help my wife come back home to her family...

My wife and I sat down together last Sunday, for the first time together alone since she left to talk. It did not go very well. I completely disagreed with her on her points of view, her logic and her conclusions that she wants to end our marriage forever... YES, that is what she told me, she does not want to come back. She told me these awful things:

• She does not want to stay married.
• She wants to live life for her and do what she feels is in her best interests.
• She does not miss me.
• She does not love me.
• She does not miss our home.
• She does not miss anything that is in it.
• She does miss our children, but even they, as she said, are not enough for her to come back home.
• She said I was a good man, good person, good father and a good husband.
• She has no intentions of ever coming back home.
• And she is living her life for herself now, doing what she wants to do, when she wants to do it, how she wants to do it. She said right now, her own interests mean more to her than her family.

What else can I say. But you know, even then, after all she said, I still didn't give up hope. we both were to speak to the marriage counselor last week which we did separately, and then my wife and I were supposed to meet today to talk once more. But, instead, last night I received this text message for my wife,

"I spoke to the marriage counselor last night. My mind hasn't changed since the day I left so I really don't see that there is anything for us to talk about until you accept this decision. you keep asking me questions that I have given the answer to. I'm sorry that you are hurting but from now on I have to do what's best for me!"

My wife has now decided my future, my children's future all on/ because of and for her own selfish and self-centered, self gratifying wants... I am alone now, I am lost, I have been and am trying to find a path, to learn how to live, breath, and function once more... I cry, I pray, I go to church, I wish, I hope, I have faith that everything now in my life, is in god's hands. I am trying to find the strength to live, but it is beyond anything and everything I have ever experience in my life. I am devastated, my moral destroyed, my heart broken, my faith tested, my desires and drives thrown out the window. I do have my children, which is a blessing and they want to be here with me, which I do thank the lord for. They mean everything to me and I love them both so much.....

I have never, ever, been is such a low place in my moral life, and that I could not find any Christmas in my heart this year.

I was supposed to of have been apart of the Christmas card exchange this year, but I didn't have it in my heart do involve myself, so I apologize for not sending any out this year. I did not send out any personal ones either...Christmas to me this year, never happened.

I am sorry for not being here, but I have been and am in right now, such a low point in my life, I just didn't want to bring everyone else down with me, nor be crying my troubles to everyone here, everyone has enough problems of their own. So, instead, I choose exile for myself, so as to spare each and everyone of you from my pain, my sorrow, my loneliness, my grief, my disbelief, my loss...

I do miss you all and being here, but It has been an awful journey/ path that I have been on and it was a place where I felt, you all need to be and remain happy in your lives and to not be on that road with me....

Me,

What do I do? I just don't know.
Where do I go in life? I just don't know.
How do I live? I just don't know.
Do I want to live, start my life all over again? I just don't know.
Where do I begin? I just don't know...
How do I feel? Numb, isolated, alone, abandoned and be-wildered. Lost in a vast empty sea...

I am not in a very good place in my heart, my soul, my mind, I feel lost, alone, sad, helpless, afraid and abandoned....

I felt that since my wife's answer now is absolute, today, for some reason, felt inside, that it was the day to share my personal life with you all. I do not know about anything anymore. I'm just trying to find my way.......


I love and miss you all.

David (Xmastidings)

David,

I am sorry to hear about what has happened. I am at a loss hearing this.
You will be in my thoughts, and we are here for you, friend.

Ron

 

[xmas365]

Harlowe thanks everyone for their prayers, too. She is resting now. Looks like an angel

View attachment 19610

SO cute!!

 

[xmas365]

Look where Palmer was hiding. View attachment 19611

She was sleeping just before I took this picture.

Another cutie! She still has sleep in her eyes.

 

[xmas365]

I found a quick video of Lulu jumping through a hoop for carrot pieces LOL.

That's great!!! Another MMC cutie!!

 

[xmas365]

Morning everyone and a happy Sunday! Unfortunately I have been down with a chest infection all week which has been a real struggle as I've had a busy week. Hopefully i'll get a doctors appointment this week in case I need something a bit stronger than I'm taking. Anyone with Superbowl party plans enjoy, I think I'll be tucked up in bed with a hot toddy ;-)

Sorry to hear about the chest infection. I hope you are feeling better.

 

[HomemakinGirl]

Thank you for the advice, friend.
It's worth a shot. She's so finicky.
X

It must just be because she feels so unwell, and that she stressed. Because she typically takes her pills pretty well for me. The only other time I've struggled so badly was when she had liver disease.
And this is so detrimental to her well-being, I'm at my wits end.
Yes, I've tried peanut butter and cream cheese tonight. Cutting them up into smaller bits. She won't even entertain them.
After almost 2 hours of trying, we mashed them up and added a little bit of sugar and water and put them into a syringe, unfortunately the syringe was too big and I couldn't get it into her mouth far enough and she got most of it on her body. We're all so stressed right now. And she's breathing too fast for her own good so we just need to quit for tonight.
Thank you for your ideas, appreciate them Going to call the vet tomorrow.

I'm sorry Snowflake, I know how upsetting it is. I go through the same thing every day. It's hit or miss with Maggie. She's not impressed with any food I put in front of her. I've mentioned before that we have to practically stand on our heads to get her to take her pills. I really feel for you. I hope you have better luck tomorrow (((HUGS)))

 

[HomemakinGirl]

Do you ever have that time in your life where you feel someone or something is testing your faith, strength and will to keep carrying on....

I feel that way right now.... If you can imagine what it looks like to see a 52 year old man cry, I can send you a picture....

My son who is in the Maryland air national guard, just came home and told me that his unit is being placed on active duty and will be shipped out to the Middle East this October....his name was on the list to go....

I am ex military. I know how it is and the possibility to be sent into harms way. But he is my son, and I love him so much.....

I cannot get a break...

I'm so sorry David. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sending big hugs.
xx

 

[HomemakinGirl]

Goodnight everyone!
xx

 

[Edge612]

Congrats to the Denver Broncos. Their defense won the Superbowl. Panthers had a great season though. They just ran into a buzz saw of a defense. We've seen that happen before with the Giants against the Pats.

 

[Edge612]

Good Night MMC! Football season is over but Walking Dead season is resuming...

 

[xmas365]

Thanks so much, friend.
I'm sure hoping, it was a rough night. She was having a difficult time and shaking all night. And a struggle to get her pills down this morning. (and the morning is half doses) Not looking forward to tonight's. I did take a play out of your book, and rang the doorbell. It worked for one of them!
xx

I am sorry to hear Har having a rough night last night. She is still in my thoughts.

 

[xmas365]

$13 for a beer at the Superbowl? I'll drive my saliva...

Where would you drive it to?

 

[xmas365]

Do you ever have that time in your life where you feel someone or something is testing your faith, strength and will to keep carrying on....

I feel that way right now.... If you can imagine what it looks like to see a 52 year old man cry, I can send you a picture....

My son who is in the Maryland air national guard, just came home and told me that his unit is being placed on active duty and will be shipped out to the Middle East this October....his name was on the list to go....

I am ex military. I know how it is and the possibility to be sent into harms way. But he is my son, and I love him so much.....

I cannot get a break...

I am so sorry to hear, my thoughts will continue you to be with you and you family.

 

[xmas365]

Good evening,
Finally feeling better tonight/today, I made it through work yesterday, but it was a struggle. We also went out with another couple last night for dinner and bowling, I pushed through but was completely exhausted.
Just a lazy day resting today, we didn't watch the Super Bowl, which has turned into our little tradition. I think we haven't watched it since 2008.
Snow in the forecast tomorrow, looks like it will be close to 6 inches for us on top of the 8 we got on Friday. Winter is finally here.

Goodnight, everyone.

 

[made582]

Well my Broncos pulled it off. Peyton can now go out on top with a couple more records for good measure. Not that the offense showed many signs of life tonight. The defense put on a clinic though.

I'm heading to bed now to have nightmares of the woo guy.

Goodnight, MMC!!!

 

[Festive Spirit]

Thanks, Virginia! I actually watched that video earlier tonight. Tried it, she was already worked up though & was struggling so much that I couldn't make it happen
Will keep trying!

Praying the Vet can help you today Stacey. I hope Har is in a better mood this morning and takes her meds. I understand how important it is that she takes it and your fear and worry that she isn't. Hang in there and keep courage.