What exactly is an elf?

Dear Ernest,

What exactly is an elf?

Boomer W. Milwaukee, USA.

Hey Boomer,

That’s a great question and I’m glad you asked it.

In the movies, most elves are depicted as short people with squeaky voices, no brains and stupid outfits. And while that might be true of a few elves, the majority of us are far different.

An elf is no different from any other person that walks the face of the earth. In fact, an elf can be any race, any height, male or female, and live just about anywhere. Most think we all live at the North Pole. This is not true. Santa has a big job to do each year. It’s a global effort. And we’re everywhere working in support of the Big Guy and Operation Merry Christmas.

We live in homes like you do. Some of us work jobs, like you do. In fact, only a very few of us are chosen to live out the remainder of our days here in the Great White North, wearing pointy shoes and glittering our hair.

An elf is cheerful the Spirit of Christmas burns within him or her all year. He is in tune to the needs of others and he quickly acts when people need help. Elves are prone to be busy people always productive, in motion and getting things done. Elves have a penchant for sugar cookies, bursting into song and saying “ooooohhh” spontaneously at the first sight of Christmas lights.

Look around you. Someone you know might be an elf. Those of us who work in the field are sworn to secrecy about our true identities, for obvious reasons.